Forward not back
What a slogan. Our political philosophy: The Bleedin Obvious.
How about, ‘Up not down’ or ‘Left not right’; see – anyone can do it. All you need to do is imagine yourself giving directions to P. Mandelson as you navigate him away from your house [ perhaps not ].
Lets face it, the election campaign is as dull as a papal orgy staffed by the handmaidens of Ann Widdecombe.
[ 'Mineral water for me Sister, I'm meditating on the sacred mysteries of the ringbinder' ]
The Labour campaign, especially, has aspired to previously unseen levels of tedium:
Endless footage of TB surrounded by ‘hardworking British families’ [ ie paid rejects from Eastenders central casting and what about all us slackers - don't we get a look in? ] Tony n Gordie in their floodlit flat at breakfast not drinking their identical orangejuice or eating their Allbran – Tony seated at left [ the power position ] reminding Gordy of how far they’ve come together – puhleese.
Realplayer footage Prunella Scales reminding us that the NHS used to be great – never mind that her name sounds like a nasty skin complaint, never mind that we’d all be looking like this if the NHS had not been destroyed modernised by Thatch in the 80’s..
Realplayer footage Everyone ‘not taking the British electorate for granted’ whilst simultaneously ignoring most of it whilst they desperately target the few thousand marginal voters that will swing it for them.
Yes – we need something new, fresh and different.
That’s why I recommend a radical haircut for all – I’ve already had mine.
“Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle.
Long hair consumes a great deal of nutrition and could thus rob the brain of energy.
Tidy attire is important in repelling the enemies’ manoeuvres to infiltrate corrupt capitalist ideas and lifestyle and establishing the socialist lifestyle of the military-first era.”
I’m already feeling the effects. Yesterday I was so energised I fell asleep over my keyboard and ended up missing the second part of the Dr Who story I’d been waiting all week to see. Long live the revolution.