Meetings after meetings

  • You rock up to the meeting.
  • There is lots of moderately expensive dark suiting in the room but InfluentialPowerPerson is not wearing a jacket.
  • You spend hours trying to look interested while a succession of non-entities circulate their poorly typed reports or show you their poorly designed powerpoints.
  • You earnestly circulate your own poorly typed report, give a dull but safe ‘overview’ whilst wishing you were on a beach in Barbados.
  • The Chairdrone sums up, thanks everyone and concludes the meeting.
  • Nobody stands up.
  • People shuffle their poorly typed papers and tap on their Expensivesmartstatusgizmos.
  • They rearrange their designerpens before slowly decanting them into their man/woman/nongenderspecific bags.
  • Someone stands up, closely followed by their neighbours who all engage in chitchat.
  • On the far opposite side of the table InfluentialPowerPerson stands up and is immediately surrounded by several WannabeLadderClimberPersons.
  • They all sidle into a corner of the meeting room and mutter powerfully to each other.
  • InfluentialPowerPerson cracks a funny and all of theWannabeLadderClimberPersons guffaw excessively. It can’t be that funny becauseInfluentialPowerPerson is notoriously dull.
  • By now you have rearranged your pens and updated your Expensivesmartstatusgizmo as much as you feasibly can without looking like you are loitering with intent to join a MeetingAfterMeeting.
  • You notice anotherMeetingAfterMeeting gathering near the doorway and, just as you do InfluentialPowerPerson extricates themselves and brushes past the door MeetingAfterMeeting saying a few words to MinorPowerPerson who promises to email ImportantPowerThing later.
  • Finally you accept that nobody is going to engage you in any sort of MeetingAfterMeeting so you leave, feeling that you are missing out on something vital to your future.

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