47 – day 1

This week I’ll mostly be 47. It only seems a moment ago that I was 42. 42 is sort of old. It’s sort of just over 40 which although ‘old’ when you are 16 is not really that old when you get to be 42. But 47. That’s nearly 50. And I’m noticing that I’m getting crustier and the funny thing is that I don’t care. That’s what mental decline does for you. You become more annoying and argumentative and less willing to put up with sh*t but you don’t really mind too much that people find you annoying. You actually quite enjoy the feeling that you are making an impact. For example, today I had to deal with the unfortunate case of the credit card company that failed to follow their own procedures and then tried to charge me £37.65 for having done so. Not only did I hear myself saying, “This is a terribly disconnected organisation. How much money are they wasting by having you deal with my problem in such an inefficient manner?” I also heard myself saying, “I expect to be compensated for my time in having to come here today when all of this could easily have been sorted out on the phone when I called two weeks ago.” I suspect that the 42 year old me would not have said those things. He might have got the same outcome but in a slightly less abrasive (dare I admit pompous) way. He might have felt a tad more awkward about speaking up for himself than 47 year old me. I still have gnawing uncertainties in these situations but I now believe in myself much more than I did when younger. I’m dangerous, I believe I’m right and I mean to have satisfaction! What has become of me? This week I’ll try to break my recent dearth of postings and get to grips with this final week of my 46thhood. Mainly as a way of creating something to look back on when I’m even more decrepit. Partly as a snapshot illustration of what might lie before you if you are younger. I never saw myself quite as I am now. This week I might see myself even more differently; I’ve not decided yet what to write about. Let’s see what happens.

Unfortunately named energy companies: no 1
Dong

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