Doggy do
Whilst the historic election of Barack Obama permeates international consciousness, commentators are inevitably turning to the profound implications of his victory. The world is, in a sense, on-hold as it waits with bated breath to know in which direction Obama will steer. Environmental disaster, international terrorism, economic meltdown and rampant warfare will, inevitably, feature high on the list of Things That Need Sorting Pronto. These issues, though, pale beside the one that burns most brightly on the Obamaâ„¢ Outlookâ„¢ task list. Yes, surely there at number one position must be, ‘Choose Presidential Puppy ASAP’. Not one to let slip the chance at any turn to appear cuddly, wholesome and in-touch with his fatherly side, Obama pointedly announced in his acceptance speech that his daughters had earned a puppy to bring with them to the White House. How one earns a puppy must be left to the imagination. Putting up with hours of Daddy’s oratorial rehearsal drowning out your favourite TV shows? Not cringeing too visibly when Mommy and Daddy practice spontaneous bottom pats and loving looks in the kitchen before important campaign rallies? Not throwing a screaming fit and rolling on the floor when you are forced into a bullet proof car and shipped off yet again to some far flung sports field for another round of ‘Daddy, Mommy and Daughters in Show of All American Family Loveliness – we’re just as normal as you folks really’. We’ll probably never know how da puppy woz earned; I just hope that checklists weren’t involved at any stage of the process. So, will it be a labradoodle, a schnoodle a golden doodle or a cockapoo? [don't mention George Michael]
Every twennyfirstcentury president needs a celebrity dog life coach and that dog coach is here. She’s good enough for Oprah, surely she will get the First Dog contract too. Selflessly she has dedicated herself “to providing insight to millions of dog lovers with my unique method, The Loved Dog, for building a relationship based on games, clear communication, respect and love.” Are you moved yet? Tamar is “devoted to capturing the individuality of each and every dog and celebrating the magic in them.” Feel that magic Bazza and watch out for that cockapoo coming to a carpet near you man.