Archive for September, 2015

Sauce

Monday, September 21st, 2015

New Labour

Saturday, September 12th, 2015
  1. Retrieve red flag from loft and dust off cobwebs.
  2. Hide Tony Blair memorabilia in loft.
  3. Grow scrubby beard.
  4. Discard ties.
  5. Cultivate tetchy, baby boomer, annoyed-at-everything attitude.
  6. Throw D’Ream CDs into eco-friendly landfill enviro-park facility.
  7. Block Peter Mandelson emails.
  8. Buy Keir Hardie deerstalker.
  9. Join militant union.
  10. Enjoy it while it lasts comrades.

Air morons

Thursday, September 10th, 2015
When your plane catches fire – here’s humanity at its worst.

“I keep all my most important items in my carry-on bag. It would be extremely damaging to my business if I lost it. So yes, I would TRY to get my bag off the plane as I was leaving — but ONLY IF it was possible to do so without blocking anyone else or otherwise impeding the evacuation.
Josh Light, Santa Barbara, USA”
Because your business is more important than other people eh Josh – moron.

“My hand luggage usually contains my medication, my girlfriend has her inhaler in hers. Leaving either behind could cause a further medical emergency.
Phil Hide”
As long as you and your girlfriend are OK Phil, that’s all that matters eh? Selfish moron.

“Damn right I would take my hand luggage. My passport would be in there, all my contacts and insurance documents too. Without which I’m stuffed and potentially trapped if the plane burns to a crisp.
Gary Sanders, Brighton, UK”
Not as stuffed as you would be if you meet a fellow moron in front of you who stops you getting off the plane in time Gary.

“Of course I’d take my bag with me if I left the plane. I have it with me under the seat in front, and it takes precisely no extra time for me to take it with me.
Quentin, London.”
You’re wrong Quentin. Let’s hope I’m in front of you in the evacuation queue. Moron.