Archive for April, 2011


Friday, April 29th, 2011
In April’s early morn

uniformed splendour is borne

upon the backs of numerous horses

through London streets troop loyal forces

in tribute to the royal pair

as “Commoner Kate” weds the Heir

all eyes will focus on the passing parade

as on this day a new Princess is made

across the land hearts will rejoice

as in the Abbey we hear his voice

as Will says “I will”

and Kate looks pure

we can be sure

when it is born

it’ll have those teeth

The Ambassador’s non-reception

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

“With these human rights abuses you are really soiling us”.

Looking for Lowry

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

I enjoyed the ITV doco on L.S Lowry this evening and I can’t help thinking that very soon there is going to be an announcement of a Lowry exhibition in London. Watch this space. Meanwhile I confess to not having known that Oasis had made a video in the style of Lowry a few years back – and very fine it is too.

Viva Hooky Street

Saturday, April 23rd, 2011
Mr John Sullivan, ace comedy writer and author of Only Fools and Horses – possibly the funniest ever British TV comedy – has sadly died all too young.
He wrote and sang the theme song for OFH.

Here is the end song performed.

Here are the lyrics.

We’ve got some half price cracked ice and miles and miles of carpet tiles, T.V.s, deep freeze and David Bowie L.P.s,
Ball games, gold chains, whatsnames, pictures frames and leather goods, And Trevor Francis track suits from a mush in Shepherds Bush, Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush …
No income tax, no V.A.T., No money back, no guarantee, Black or white, rich or poor, We’ll cut prices at a stroke……
God bless Hooky Street, Viva Hooky Street, Long live Hooky Street, C’est magnifique, Hooky Street, Magnifique, Hooky Street,
Hooky Street (to fade)

The Memories of John Sullivan’s work will never fade for me.

Lovely jubbly.


Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

Should you be short of things to do this Royal Wedding Tide then why not perform your own wool-based tribute by knitting your own corgi?
You know you want to.
Recipe here.

Cake porn

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

Behold. The Lemon Victoria Sandwich.
Recipe here.

Smoke gets in your eyes

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

With massive cuts to public services in train what is the lead item on the news today?
Proposed changes to the law of royal succession. The issue which has gripped the nation for, er… never.
Alongside the present impending marriage of another pair of over-privileged inbreds, this is the latest in a steady drip-drip of dross, thinly disguised as news.  How gratifying to know that the projected progeny of prince and princess privilege will ascend to power irrespective of pudendal arrangements.

Line of the week

Saturday, April 16th, 2011
Tell us a joke.
Michael McIntyre.
Kathy Burke

Quick! build a new tube system

Friday, April 15th, 2011

It didn’t take a genius to predict that London’s creaking tube system would prove the weak link in the London 2012 infrastructure. Now the bleating has begun – see above. The system has been underinvested and poorly managed for years and years. Symbolic of this is the ceiling in one of the tunnels of a station I regularly visit. The ceiling has been under repair for some time. Six months?, a year? No. Over seventeen years. Yes, seventeen years I have been walking under that ceiling patched up with chicken wire that has the ‘temporary’ lighting hanging down. All over the tube there are similar botched up repairs ‘underway’. The fact that the system runs as well as it does is testament to the dedication of the hard pressed staff and the even harder pressed passengers who daily endure manky stations and trains, delays and overcrowding. What was once the pride of London and a beacon of modern efficiency to the world is now a shambling shadow of its former glory. We can write the 2012 headlines now can’t we? All that’s needed to complete the teetering timebomb will be a well timed Olympic strike from the ongoingly aggrieved LT staff.

Mind the gap.

Fifty years in space

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

This has to be the nicest Google doodle I’ve seen.