Archive for February, 2008

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Monday, February 25th, 2008
How long have I been obsessed?
Wks
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I've made a little list

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

I’ve saved it in a little file called anusHorribilis. It contains the names of all the people I’ve encountered in my life so far who have incurred my wrath. I decided to make the list when I found myself idly thinking about one of them during an otherwise joyous moment. I could feel that old mixture of loathing and resentment come surging back. I’ve concluded that this is not a Good Thing; the loathing and resentment. Not that I can now muster any compassion for the people on the list; they are still a collective of bar stewards in my humble opinion. The thing is, I’ve had enough of them clogging up my brain, resurfacing at inopportune moments and generally getting in the way of my present and future wellbeing. [ Notice how I'm skillfully avoiding use of the i word ]. Their occasional visits to my mind trigger all sorts of stress responses which are unhealthy because, of course, the source of that stress is in the past and I feel no urge to contact those people again to revisit and resolve the causes of our dissonance. I’ve concluded that there’s no point in allowing this pattern of thinking to continue. Their visiting rights to my brain have to be withdrawn; I think that would be for the best don’t you? I’ve calclulated that I’ve probably had dealings with several thousand people during my life so far; some, of course, more fleeting encounters than others. Interestingly, of those on the little list, none of them were ever personal friends. That, I hope, says something about my choice of friends. Out of several thousand encounters there are nineteen people on the little list. Nineteen people in the forty odd years I’ve been out and about, to me, doesn’t seem that many. Would that it were fewer but nineteen it is. Now, after writing the little list it feels like something has happened. Some change in the mental arrangement that my nineteen visitors had previously enjoyed is about to ensue. Inscribing their names in the anusHorribilis puts them, I feel, in their rightful place. I am considering, now, the next move in this tidying up process. Should it be to post their names on a website somewhere and thereby cast them off into the uncertain future that is cyberspace? Probably not; the uncertain future might involve some bum biting for yours truly should I choose that option. Should I print out anusHorribilis and burn it in a ceremonial ritual of cleansing attended by acolytes of purification and cutecat in a gold kittyfleece? Should I attach the aforementioned to a helium filled balloon and release it into the skies over Sellafield as a symbolic radiological act of contempt for my former tormentors? Who knows? This story, I feel, is not quite over but soon it will be. Or maybe I should just write a blogpost about it and get on with my life? There’s ironing to be done for starters and that dodgy stain on the bath needs some attention.

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008

Speculative twat of the week
“i bought 4000 shares in northern rock 1 week ago expecting my money to be safe because i thought that nationalisation would be bad for everyone hence it being the very last option. now im going to loose all my savings that i work 12 hours a day for? thanks brown and darling for steealing yet more money from your employers (the british public)…”
Isn’t it interesting how people can never accept responsibility for being grasping bloodsuckers on the rump of a clapped out capitalist carcass? Me? I just keep it under the mattress.

Soundz
I’ve acquired a new digital thingy so that I can listen to the wireless, as discussed. The thingy is in the post, from Corby. I’ll let you know what happens when it arrives. Meanwhile, thanks for all the geekadvice.

Birdz
Are you a peacock? Do you know any peacocks? Care to share?

e-slavery
The Amazon Mechanical Turk has been around for some time. I’ve only just become aware of it. It seems to be a way of people posting adverts for mind numbing jobs that can’t be done easily by a computer but do require intelligent processing. [Heir to the throne anyone?] People can submit themselves to do these jobs for ludicrously small amounts of money. For example Jason is offering £2.50 for a job lasting 4 days and 4 hours. He’s one of hundreds of e-capitalists hoping to cash in on the stupidity or poverty of the masses. Nowt new under the sun eh?

Sunday, February 10th, 2008

Five
1. A tv channel
2. A radio station
3. A handy number between 4 and 6.
4. A defunked boy band from the same bilgepit as the Spice Grils.
5. The year wise duration of this here big juicy slobbering behemothical blog thing.

Never knew that
Around 86% of world spice production is from India.
via Tristan

Friday, February 8th, 2008


with apologies to Leonard Bernstein.

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

Wrong wavelength
I have to do a weekly journey from now until July. I thought it would be nice to listen to the radio en route each week. I thought I might buy myself an inexpensive little personal radio. I thought I might hunt around on the web, find something simple and inexpensive, order it and enjoy. I thought wrong. There are about six thousand choices in this sector of the market and I’m really confused. Should I go for analogue or digital? Waterproof or leaky? MP3 capability or radio only? Will it be futureproof? Is it reliable? How many reviews does it have? Are the batteries cheap? Do they last long? I don’t seem to remember it being this complicated when I bought my last gramophone in 1899. Could one of you kind ‘technogeek’ readers please tell me what to do?

Tory plucks off
Unattractive carcass following shooting.
I’m sure the birds don’t look too pretty either.

Friday, February 1st, 2008

Flickr f**kr
In 2005 Flickr was absorbed into Yahoo!. I was forced, at risk of being denied access to my extensive collection of tasteful images, to submit myself to 960 pages of Yahoo! statutes and security procedures. So tortuously complicated are these that, for a period, I gave up trying to access my images as everytime I asked for assistance from the Yahoo droids they directed me to a web page which in turn directed me back to the Yahoo droids. Eventually, by performing a satanic ritual in the back garden with some chickens I was able to reestablish contact with my visual heritage (now hosted in the US and subject to US law). All was well – after a fashion. This morning I awoke to hear that Yahoo! (and therefore Flickr) is likely to be absorbed into the Death Star. There is only one response to this news that, presently, I am able to articulate.