Greetings from beyond the electrograve.
What are you meant to think when you switch on your electric blog box [EBB] only to be greeted with the words, “INSERT SYSTEM DISK” ? I have to tell you that my thoughts involved a well known exclamation involving gonads. This, because my EBB is ancient, having been lovingly nurtured for years to maximise its lifespan and I know that this message spells Big Doo Doos. Being ancient in the world of the EBB is akin to being obsolete when it comes to transplanting new bits and grafting on enhancing ecoutrements – it’s all so Difficult. The assistants in Maplins look at you through their fifteen year old eyes and offer geeky condescension when they realise that your EBB is nearly as old as them. [ Note to Maplins: 1. Try a social skills course for your workforce. 2. Consider a more diverse workforce in contrast with the current one which seems to consist entirely of pale, thin teenage males called 'Dave'. Remember, the population is getting older and more techno savvy - we won't put up with nerds no more. ] I have learned that my formerly state of the art hard disk is now state of the ark. It has been superseded by much more massively capacious memory devices. I am unable to plug in one of these leviathans because PATA has been superseded by SATA. Am I bovvered? Yes. Because my EBB has become intrinsic to my twennyfirstcentury lifestyle. I bank, I blog, I book, I look, I hook, I chat, I check, I browse, I even placed a bet last week. Now all that is denied me. My FAT32 has become corrupted. There is the the unspoken worry that the FAT32 controller may also be banjaxed. Nobody loves a banjaxed FAT32 controller. I have been casting around for cast off antique hard disks. One arrived in the post. I plugged it in hopefully. Bugger all. I now know that my primary IDE channel is defective. A colonoscopy for computers is not available so I am faced with forking out a fortune for new innards or forking out a fortune for new outards and innards. Buggeration unbounded. Meanwhile a purloined laptop is my friend. Am I sad or mad to mourn the loss of my EBB? I’m sadder about the effect on my Â£BB [ Bank Balance ]. Still, I’m BBack and that has to be good innit?