Bignjuicy

…has been keeping me up on recent weeknights. It’s being re-run as a prelude to a 10 year anniversary new episode to be aired around Christmas. Although I watched it avidly first time around, sufficient time has now elapsed for me to have forgotten the fine details. I’ve been loving it anew and the bags under my eyes are testimony to this. [ Showtime ends around 1am each night ]. The energy is still there. Innovative in so many ways. The tension, the plot twists and the delicious dynamic we all wished we’d enjoyed when we house-shared – only the reality was scummier and more mundane. It’s looking a bit dated now but there’s been nothing to touch it on telly since. If you’ve never seen it, think ‘Friends’ with sex, drugs, young lawyers, less cawfee, better plots and English accents.
Wikithislife
Official site with loadsa stuff.

Look me up
Don’t know about you but I hardly ever use a phone book to look up numbers these days. I didn’t even get round to unwrapping my last one for about six months after it was delivered. 192.com are running a survey. You could win an ipod – which brings me to..

The other Steve
Co-Appleist, Steve Wozniak talks in detail about the birth of Apple, life, the universe and stuff which I found rather interesting. [ Link is to a video sequence player ]

18 Nov 2006

20 Nov 2006

Sign of The Times
Slideshow of The Times masthead since 1785, complete with recent fascistic makeover. Interesting that Times New Roman disappeared in 1991.

Shag off
Celebrity Shag Island has been axed after everyone stopped watching it simultaneously at the same time together. This is largely because it was shite.
That is all.

Uncanny and unnatural
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So now we know what Jack the Ripper looked like.

So what would you like to know?
Ask me a question.

Quick question
Should I
a. Pack it in?
b. Calm down?
c. Get a grip?
Answers in the comments please.

Further to the German gay penguins I wrote about back in 2005 I learnt today that their New York bros, Roy and Silo, have been the source of a right wing backlash in middle America. Roy and Silo were in penguin lurve back in 1998. Back story here. They wanted an egg of their own and tried to hatch out a rock. After being given a spare egg which just happened to be lying around, their little surrogate daughter, Tango, was hatched. Unable to resist the diversity-positive role-modelling potential. [ Let alone the piles of wonga to be made from diversity-positive parents ] a children’s book was produced. [ 17 used and new available from £4.94 ]. And now the diversity-negative Mommies of Missouri and Illinois are attempting to banish the book lest their offspring be poisoned by this tale of unbridled animal love. Probably best to buy them a poster of this. [ Might save lots of therapy later when little Arthur wants to be Martha etc ].

Update: Silo’s gone off with another woman. Roy is a gay bachelor. Tango is ‘continuing to socialise’. [ Missouri Mommy can breath a sigh of relief - it was a phase after all ]. It’s better than Dynasty.

If words were colours
If Bignjuicy were a colour scheme it would look like this. Fancy painting your living room in Vile Sickness? or your boudoir in Futtocks? or you could do Strangulated in the bathroom perhaps? Me? I’m toying with Pus for the parlour. Now Dulux will never be enough again.

Q: What do you do with an empty massive white plastic dome in the centre of London?
A: Keep it empty for 7 years and then rent it out to an exhibition of ancient Egyptian artifacts.
Currently packing them in in Chicago, ‘King Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs’ is due to arrive at the Millenium Dome in London in twelve months. In 1972 1.6 million people queued around the block and the clock at the British Museum to see the pharaonic plunderings of Carter and Carnarvon. It was the most successful exhibition in Britain ever and I missed it because in those days a trip to London was more akin to visiting Turkmenistan never mind Tutankhamun and, anyway, I was more interested in acquiring my next Airfix fix than spending hours queuing up to see a load of gold stuff belonging to a dead bloke. Such simple tastes in my youth. [ Angel Delight anyone? ] So, it was with mounting excitement that I learned of the the impending arrival of what seemed like a new Tutankhamun blockbuster in London. The website has a pretty commercial feel. Would a scholarly outfit include the phrase, “Give the gift of King Tut” on their homepage? I think not. Sadly, reading more widely reveals that there have been mixed reviews for this show. Many have been lured by the marketing materials which feature an image remarkably similar in appearance to the gold death mask which has become emblematic of Tutankhamun and ancient Egypt to some degree. [The item featured is actually a mini coffin which was a travel case for King T's liver]. Many have been expectant that this is a repeat of the 1970s show, “For the first time in 30 years..”, runs the strapline. From what I’ve read, this is nothing on the scale of what I missed all those years ago. But having looked around the online virtual tour I think it may still be worth a look. I just won’t expect it to make up for what I didn’t see in 1972. I remember they were saying at the time that it was a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity. This of course was in the days before low cost air travel. Does easyjet fly to Cairo?

Unfortunately named Catholic social theorist / ethicist / philosopher and political economists: no 1
Götz Briefs
- [ at least his parents didn't call him Crüsty ]

Guess who’s coming to town?

I was thinking the other day, if you travelled forward or backwards in time you’d find yourself in a world where you knew had a lot in common, humanity wise, with the people you found yourself with but you would not have a lot in common, everyday knowledge wise, with them. I imagine the effect would be quite disorientating and I wonder if you would ever get used to it. It would be a bit like being an immigrant to a new country. Sure you could make a home but there would always be something missing. This lead me to think that we are at our best when we are in our ‘own environment’, the one where we feel most ‘at home’. We can function most fully when surrounded by the things and people we know. We can aspire to higher levels of existence because we are unconcerned with everyday survival. Good old Maslow [ interesting that he was a child of immigrants ]. So I wondered if I feel ‘at home’ and therefore am I at my best and I have to say that I don’t think I am just now only I can’t quite put my finger on it but I’m sure I will sooner or later. I feel the call of self actualisation but I seem to be spending too much time cleaning the toilet – if you get the picture?

Smacks of stupidity
If I decide to get into hard drugs I’ll probably need to start doing some burglaries to support my habit. Like the scumbaggia that burgled me last year. [ Bastards - you'll get yours ]. Getting hooked on smack [ see how down with the lingo I am dudes? ] – might be a problem if I end up in the slammer. I might have to go Cold Turkey [ of the vegetarian variety ] but hey! I can sue the government for compensation for infringing my human rights and hey! The stupid sods will pay up too! Kewl!
In short:
1. Become drug addict.
2. Commit crimes affecting others wellbeing and bank balance.
3. Go to jail, move directly to jail, do not collect Nectar points.
4. Be kept in jail by me [ The Taxpayer ].
5. Have a few bad days as wretched smack ridden carcass detoxifies [ serves you right scumbag ].
6. Sue HM Government – ie me [ The Taxpayer ] for compo.
Bastards.

[ It's enough to drive me to the Daily Mail ].

Girls Aloud. I’m sorry, but the whole pouty vinyl haired barbietasticness of this lot need to see them dumped in the recycling bin for polypropylene dollies asap if not sooner.
Simon bloody Cowell and his square headed life sapping grip around the throat of British pop music.
Bloody ’security’ and all it’s sodding, intrusive, restrictive, controlling manifestations. I am a free man not a number – grrr.
Vernon Kay, Sarah Cox and the rest of the Bolton Massive. So what, you’re Northern – so’s Iceland.
Pete Doherty – all I know is that he’s some kind of drug addled loser and he appears to be famous for that. Puhleese.
Gordon Brown’s ’subtle interventions’ – prematurely power crazed methinks.
Kirsty Wark, Kirsty Young, Paul Young, Will Young and Prince William.
Sir Ian McKellan – so what, you’re an actor and you’re gay? Elvis is dead.
Endless bleedin lists of ‘100 Great British cat turds’, ‘Top 10 icons of Junk Food in Romford’, ‘The British Hall of Fame of Former Soap Opera Actors Who Nobody Remembers Anymore But We Liked Them In 1984′, ‘My 100 Best Moments From The Longest Traffic Jam Ever On The M25′,’Vote for your favourite ringtone from 1999′, ‘Have Your Say, should Pete Doherty move to Bolton?’ etc etc.

Note to self
One espresso good, three espressos baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad weeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooo, flippada flippada wabbba wabbba. You lookin at me?

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I suggest that the philosophy and strategy of non-violence become immediately a subject for study and for serious experimentation in every field of human conflict, by no means excluding relations between nations. It is, after all, nation states which make war, have produced the weapons that threaten the survival of mankind and which are both genocidal and suicidal in character. Martin Luther King

In memory of the two hundred and twenty million people who have lost their lives as a result of war since 1900 – make peace.