Archive for April, 2004

Cakefest – day 5: The links

Friday, April 30th, 2004

The software company that doesn’t want to be taken seriously

The Biscuit, Cake, Chocolate and Confectionery Association – I’m a life member

Cake music

Citizen cake

Cake or deathbe afraid.

My friend the chocolate cakenot what you think

Cake in 9 minutes – Too slow

For residents of planet Vega

Survival cakeanorak required

Designers – suhweetie

Appalling Crossroads actress with cake fetish – and orange hair

Delia’s tins – like she needs the money

Cakefest – day 4: Chocolate cake

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

Of all the cakes in all the world the one which does it for me every time is the Chocolate Cake.

Whenever presented with a dessert menu a rapid scan will normally reveal at least one chocolate based delight. This can mean good or bad news. Over the years I’ve learnt to judge the quality of the establishment – and thus the likely O factor of it’s Chocolate offering – from subtle cues that may be present:

Photographs of food on menu = very bad sign.

Laminated menu = leave now before it’s too late – disappointment surely awaits.

Waitress called Doris = bad news – knowing the waitress’s name is too much information.

Salad bar = OK if you are into stuff-till-you-chuck otherwise avoid.

Mention of fantasy element in menu description – eg ‘Chocolate Heaven – velvety mousse on a base of hand baked caramel biscuits’ = this sounds promising – maybe worth a go.

Fellow diners making orgiastic moans over dessert = very good sign or you may be unknowingly eating at a swingers club.

Black Forest Gateau = only if you are in the Black Forest.

Any mention or sighting of Sara Lee = run Forest run.

Swiss pastry chef on staff = Sell your body if you must – you have to have that Chocolate Torte – it may change your life.

Warm chocolate anything = phone me now I’m coming round.

Life is too short for bad chocolate cake. Good chocolate floods your senses with taste and sensation, melts in your mouth with a satisfying creaminess, affects your brain, promotes release of serotonin and endorphins into your blood stream making you feel wonderful, happy and even in love. Do not deny yourself the pleasure that is chocolate but if you must – send yours to me.

Cakefest – day 3: The quiz

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

1. Nuts aplenty –
north of the border.
2. Moo cows.
3. Smashing orangey bit.
4. He makes exceedingly good ones.
5. German squares.
6. West Manchester.
7. Mentalist northern baps.
8. Rosy lee – currants.
9. Stretched german.
10. Rhymes with poncy dog.
11. Dark trees confection.
12. Midwinter Christian.
13. Tinkerbell.
14. Flat.
15. Grain, Stoke.
16. Layered queen.
17. Orange haired actress.
18. Matched.
19. Root vegetable.
20. Not long.

Solve the cakey clues – max 2 each until Sunday – when leftovers may be devoured without restriction.

Points will be awarded [ and will be up to date later ]

Good luck cake lovers.

I’m famous!

I’ve been linked – I’m so happy I could quite easily ‘press 1’ and order even more gnomes. Thanks to Wrapstar.

Cakefest – day 2: The chart

Tuesday, April 27th, 2004

Starting at
no 5 it’s the
At no 4 it’s
Coming in
at no 3 it’s
the gorgeous
At no 2 it’s
the juicy
And at no 1 it’s
my all time

Your nominations please?

Cakefest – day 1

Monday, April 26th, 2004

ooh raspberry cheesecake
you are the one
for me
how I love your luscious moistness
and creamy goodness
your crunchy bottom sets my
tastebuds a tinglin
you stick to the roof of my mouth
in a wholly satisfactory manner
oh yeahhhhhh

Saturday, April 24th, 2004

Crackin day today gromit.

Nice sunshine, warm. Chilled out. I got to eat the most sublime pistachio ice cream on the planet – and there was a chocolate element too. Choice.

Quiz of the week! – answers

This is they:

Stuart Goddard – Adam Ant
Paul Hewson – Bono
Harry Webb – Cliff Richard
Elaine Bookbinder – Elkie Brooks
Ray Burns – Captain Sensible
David Cook – David Essex
Arnold Dorsey – Englebert Humperdink
William Broad – Billy Idol
Reginald Dwight – Elton John
Thomas Woodward – Tom Jones
Clementina Campbell – Cleo Laine
Mark McLoughlin – Marti Pellow
Chris Miller – Rat Scabies
Sandra Goodrich – Sandie Shaw
Mary O’Brien – Dusty Springfield
Richard Starkey – Ringo Starr
Gordon Sumner – Sting
Marion Elliot – Poly Styrene
Graham McPherson – Suggs
Gaynor Hopkins – Bonnie Tyler
William Perks – Bill Wyman
Eithne Ní Bhraonáin – Enya
Quentin Cook – Fatboy Slim
Michael Dumble-Smith – Michael Crawford
Niomi McLean-Daley – Ms Dynamite
Georgios Panayiotou – George Michael

Any offers on the non British born?

Goosey goosey

Beautiful and enchanting images over at Sensitive light – go now.

What have we learnt this week?

Saturday, April 24th, 2004

Sorry Darling you can’t possibly say that in here.

Chocolate misprint.

Croak no more old chap – try a voice lift.

It’s OK to publicly show photos of dying members of the British Royal Family in the US.

It’s not OK to publicly show photos of dead members of the US armed forces in their coffins covered in US flags.

Australian PM bones up on Aboriginal matters.

Holy catflaps it’s the caped crusadersin Reading

Looks like their first job may be to rid the town of the devil woman.

Still some questions to answer in the quiz of the week!

Friday, April 23rd, 2004

I don’t want to have to carry an identity card.
I don’t want to be compelled to have my fingerprints, my iris print, my DNA, pictures of my arse or whatever other intrusive personal information stored on some sinister government database that in years to come will be used to control me and my descendants in ways as yet undreamt of.
I don’t want to live in a police state cowed by the unrelenting drip drip of fear peddled by old men about the ‘threat’ from ‘Them’.
I’m bored with the notion that there is always a ‘Them’ and that huge amounts of money and human effort have to be spent to neutralise ‘Them’. I want to spend that money on preventing the ‘Us’s’ from becoming ‘Them’s’.
I don’t want your little card in my pocket – an oppressive and constant reminder that my life is not my own – that I have to belong to a scared little tribe sneaking around in fear, ‘free’ under the illusion that if you’re “not doing anything wrong you’ve got nothing to be afraid of”. Sorry chaps I aint buying that.

Please take your card and shove it.
I definitely, 100% don’t want it and what it represents.

If you feel the same – why not take a moment to let your MP know? – you can send a fax quickly from here.

It's the quiz of the week!

Thursday, April 22nd, 2004


All of these are [ I think ] British born – [ bar 1 – 2 points if you say which ]. Famous in either the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s & 00’s – some for several decades. These are their ‘real names’ – do you know what they are better known as now?

Max 2 each until Sunday when you can come back for a clean sweep. Answers, Sunday night.

As ever, points to be awarded – last week’s points added soon!

Good luck.

1. Stuart Goddard
2. Paul Hewson
3. Harry Webb
4. Elaine Bookbinder
5. Ray Burns
6. David Cook
7. Arnold Dorsey
8. William Broad
9. Reginald Dwight
10. Thomas Woodward
11. Clementina Campbell
12. Mark McLoughlin
13. Chris Miller
14. Sandra Goodrich
15. Mary O’Brien
16. Richard Starkey
17. Gordon Sumner
18. Marion Elliot
19. Graham McPherson
20. Gaynor Hopkins
21. William Perks
22. Eithne Ní Bhraonáin
23. Quentin Cook
24. Michael Dumble-Smith
25. Niomi McLean-Daley
26. Georgios Panayiotou

"Best before 21st April"

Wednesday, April 21st, 2004

If a friend of yours found a sticker with the phrase above attached to his willy during a mid-morning visit to the toilet he might be excused for:

a. Laughing out loud.

b. Wondering if it was a sign.

c. Resolving not to stick those bread bag sticky tape things to the edge of his kitchen worktop and then leaning against it whilst drinking tea first thing in the morning.

Goodness gracious

You have to hand it to the Indian government. Whilst we, their former colonial oppressors, are still farting around with bits of paper, pencils and tin boxes – they’ve just got on with it and held their first totally electronic national election.

Using a nicely engineered Indian built device, they’ve succeeded in modernising the electoral process in a straightforward and cost effective manner. Interestingly, it seems that indifference is also a factor in the east when it comes to turning out to vote.

From: Gmail Team
To: drD
“You’re one of the very first people to use Gmail.
Your input will help determine how it evolves, so we encourage you to send your feedback, suggestions and questions to us. But mostly, we hope you’ll enjoy experimenting with Google’s approach to email.”

I am actively planning to.

Wahay – I’ve got 1000 MB of free storage – someone email me Titanic – quick.