Bignjuicy

The software company that doesn’t want to be taken seriously

The Biscuit, Cake, Chocolate and Confectionery Association - I’m a life member

Cake music

Citizen cake

Cake or death- be afraid.

My friend the chocolate cake – not what you think

Cake in 9 minutes - Too slow

For residents of planet Vega

Survival cake – anorak required

Designers - suhweetie

Appalling Crossroads actress with cake fetish - and orange hair

Delia’s tins - like she needs the money

Of all the cakes in all the world the one which does it for me every time is the Chocolate Cake.

Whenever presented with a dessert menu a rapid scan will normally reveal at least one chocolate based delight. This can mean good or bad news. Over the years I’ve learnt to judge the quality of the establishment – and thus the likely O factor of it’s Chocolate offering – from subtle cues that may be present:

Photographs of food on menu = very bad sign.

Laminated menu = leave now before it’s too late – disappointment surely awaits.

Waitress called Doris = bad news – knowing the waitress’s name is too much information.

Salad bar = OK if you are into stuff-till-you-chuck otherwise avoid.

Mention of fantasy element in menu description – eg ‘Chocolate Heaven – velvety mousse on a base of hand baked caramel biscuits’ = this sounds promising – maybe worth a go.

Fellow diners making orgiastic moans over dessert = very good sign or you may be unknowingly eating at a swingers club.

Black Forest Gateau = only if you are in the Black Forest.

Any mention or sighting of Sara Lee = run Forest run.

Swiss pastry chef on staff = Sell your body if you must – you have to have that Chocolate Torte – it may change your life.

Warm chocolate anything = phone me now I’m coming round.

Life is too short for bad chocolate cake. Good chocolate floods your senses with taste and sensation, melts in your mouth with a satisfying creaminess, affects your brain, promotes release of serotonin and endorphins into your blood stream making you feel wonderful, happy and even in love. Do not deny yourself the pleasure that is chocolate but if you must – send yours to me.

1. Nuts aplenty – north of the border. 2. Moo cows. 3. Smashing orangey bit. 4. He makes exceedingly good ones. 5. German squares. 6. West Manchester. 7. Mentalist northern baps. 8. Rosy lee – currants. 9. Stretched german. 10. Rhymes with poncy dog.

11. Dark trees confection. 12. Midwinter Christian. 13. Tinkerbell. 14. Flat. 15. Grain, Stoke. 16. Layered queen. 17. Orange haired actress. 18. Matched. 19. Root vegetable. 20. Not long.

Solve the cakey clues – max 2 each until Sunday – when leftovers may be devoured without restriction.

Points will be awarded [ and will be up to date later ]

Good luck cake lovers.

I’m famous!

I’ve been linked – I’m so happy I could quite easily ‘press 1′ and order even more gnomes. Thanks to Wrapstar.

Starting at no 5 it’s the CHOC FRENCH FANCY	At no 4 it’s the LEMON FRENCH FANCY	Coming in at no 3 it’s the gorgeous CHERRY CAKE	At no 2 it’s the juicy ECCLES CAKE	And at no 1 it’s my all time favourite JAFFA CAKE

Your nominations please?

Crackin day today gromit.

Nice sunshine, warm. Chilled out. I got to eat the most sublime pistachio ice cream on the planet – and there was a chocolate element too. Choice.

Quiz of the week! – answers

This is they:

Any offers on the non British born?

Goosey goosey



Beautiful and enchanting images over at Sensitive light – go now.

Sorry Darling you can’t possibly say that in here.

Chocolate misprint.

Croak no more old chap – try a voice lift.

It’s OK to publicly show photos of dying members of the British Royal Family in the US.

It’s not OK to publicly show photos of dead members of the US armed forces in their coffins covered in US flags.

Australian PM bones up on Aboriginal matters.

Holy catflaps it’s the caped crusaders – in Reading

Looks like their first job may be to rid the town of the devil woman.

Still some questions to answer in the quiz of the week!

I don’t want to have to carry an identity card. I don’t want to be compelled to have my fingerprints, my iris print, my DNA, pictures of my arse or whatever other intrusive personal information stored on some sinister government database that in years to come will be used to control me and my descendants in ways as yet undreamt of. I don’t want to live in a police state cowed by the unrelenting drip drip of fear peddled by old men about the ‘threat’ from ‘Them’. I’m bored with the notion that there is always a ‘Them’ and that huge amounts of money and human effort have to be spent to neutralise ‘Them’. I want to spend that money on preventing the ‘Us’s’ from becoming ‘Them’s’. I don’t want your little card in my pocket – an oppressive and constant reminder that my life is not my own – that I have to belong to a scared little tribe sneaking around in fear, ‘free’ under the illusion that if you’re “not doing anything wrong you’ve got nothing to be afraid of”. Sorry chaps I aint buying that. Please take your card and shove it. I definitely, 100% don’t want it and what it represents.

If you feel the same – why not take a moment to let your MP know? – you can send a fax quickly from here.

Celebrities

All of these are [ I think ] British born – [ bar 1 - 2 points if you say which ]. Famous in either the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s & 00’s – some for several decades. These are their ‘real names’ – do you know what they are better known as now?

Max 2 each until Sunday when you can come back for a clean sweep. Answers, Sunday night.

As ever, points to be awarded – last week’s points added soon!

Good luck.

If a friend of yours found a sticker with the phrase above attached to his willy during a mid-morning visit to the toilet he might be excused for:

a. Laughing out loud.

b. Wondering if it was a sign.

c. Resolving not to stick those bread bag sticky tape things to the edge of his kitchen worktop and then leaning against it whilst drinking tea first thing in the morning.

Goodness gracious

You have to hand it to the Indian government. Whilst we, their former colonial oppressors, are still farting around with bits of paper, pencils and tin boxes – they’ve just got on with it and held their first totally electronic national election.

Using a nicely engineered Indian built device, they’ve succeeded in modernising the electoral process in a straightforward and cost effective manner. Interestingly, it seems that indifference is also a factor in the east when it comes to turning out to vote.

From: Gmail Team To: drD “You’re one of the very first people to use Gmail. Your input will help determine how it evolves, so we encourage you to send your feedback, suggestions and questions to us. But mostly, we hope you’ll enjoy experimenting with Google’s approach to email.”

I am actively planning to.

Wahay – I’ve got 1000 MB of free storage – someone email me Titanic – quick.