There are at least two topics you’re unlikely to find on here much at present. One is a certain TV prog involving hidden cameras the other is a certain TV prog involving hidden cameras, tennis balls and lots of green things. Both TV progs induce feelings of near death when I happen to stumble on them. I feel my life force ebbing away and my brain taking on the consistency of a soft poached egg. [ how disgusting an image is that? ] Only a certain televised game involving hidden cameras, coloured balls and lots of spotty young men holds less viewer appeal for me than the aforementioned gruesome twosome. Truly I will know I have gone gaga when I find myself watching any of these with a modicum of interest. So it was with immense pleasure that I read the brilliant ‘Jim Shelley’s world of sport’ in today’s Guardian Guide. I’ve tried to find a web link for this but failed so I’m reduced to typing sections of it for your edification.
“Tennis as a sport is bad/boring enough, but there’s also the BBC’s coverage of Wimbledon as a whole – smothered in that cloying middle-class/middle England/middle-of-the-afternoon-on-a-sunny-day smugness.”
“Here are the…worst.”
“The bits where it rains and the Beeb produces one of it’s trademark soppy montages featuring music by Coldplay or Bobby Gentry and old clips of Cliff Richard ‘entertaining’/punishing the crowd by singing”
“The bit where the Duke and Duchess of Kent (write your own Cockney rhyming slang) greet the ball boys. ‘A wonderful moment,’ John Barrett will purr.”
“the excruciatingly earnest ‘Rain Stopped Play’ discussions led by Sue Barker. For example a)why aren’t there any good young British players coming through? (Answer: because it’s always raining and schoolkids realise tennis is naff.)…c)Why, apart from the superhuman Williams sisters, don’t black people play tennis? (Answer: because they are too cool.)”
“Patronising filler items about The Man Who Trains/Flogs The Ballboys. The People Who Rent Out Their Houses To The Players..and finally, The Exhorbitant Price of Strawberries This Year”
“Mostly though Wimbledon is intolerable because of ‘Henman mania’/'Henman Hill’/Henman in general. If ever there was a British sportsman to make you despair of being British, it’s Henman: Nice Guy, Nearly Man and Tosser extaordinaire…Take Cliff Richard and cross him with Tony Blair and you get Tim Henman.”
Time to take my medication I think.
BnJ scoops the Beeb & The Guardian
Juice power wins out as the BBC report an ‘original joke’ about Intel’s new processor – codenamed ‘Prescott’.
Regular readers may recall a jetable du mien back in February.
I rest my case.
[ It's v. heavy - I've just packed it with breeze blocks ]