Archive for the ‘Massive tossers’ Category
Aside from the slight international panic that we are at the start of The End Times – there is possibly one thing, or maybe two things which somehow seem a bit more visceral.
First. America has looked into its darkest, most unpleasant, most revolting corner. It has picked up that mouldy breadroll from the split rubbish bag and it has eaten it quietly, hoping that passers-by will understand that it is really very hungry and has nowhere else to turn. Yes, it’s digusting, yes they’re a bit ashamed, yes, they did notice that dog splash the bag a few minutes earlier. BUT THEY DON”T CARE!
They need that bread. It’ll make them sick, but it’ll fill the gnawing hunger for a while and they can hope for something better down the line.
Second. The realisation that ultimately it really does appear to be about money and if you have money you can be as revolting as you like and you still get to walk into that power office and sit there lording it, knowing that you have played as dirty as you can and you have won. Forget nobility, forget public service, forget altruism, forget being nice. It’s about being greedy, ruthless and as nasty as you like.
Dear Client from Hell,
So you finally realised after two months that I was not going to return your calls. This was mainly due to your previously having asked me to do that ultra-urgent job overnight and then telling me the next morning that you would not pay for it because you had found someone to do it free. Now you have written to say that I am sacked from your prestigious project / empire / total f**k up of an operation.
We go back a few years. I kept the bounced cheque you sent me in payment for the first ultra-urgent project. It is next to the photo of you with the dart in it that I pinned up after you told me that I wasn’t really much good at my job but that I was not to be offended. Now I will add these to your final email and will place all of them in a rusty metal bucket into which I will urinate at a time of my choosing before setting fire to everything and scattering the ashes like a man released from hell.
I’d like to say it’s been a pleasure.
But I can’t.
PS: Good luck to your new Victim Contractor, I googled him – interesting history of criminal activity. I’m sure you’ll get on very well together.
Home political scene looking a bit fractious?
Why not create a handy distraction by bombing one of those far away countries that nobody knows the location of.
Never mind if innocent people get blown up.
You can call it a victory for democracy !
© G.Bush I&II, B.Clinton, J.Carter, G.Ford, R.Nixon, T.Blair, G.Brown, J.Major, M.Thatcher etc etc etc
|“Sent from my iPhone.”
[ie: I've got an iPhone - envy me for I am rich enough to own a black shiny thing that you don't have]
“Sent from my Blackberry”
[ie: I've got a Blackberry - envy me for I own a fruit with magickal powers of instante messaging. Quake before me oh serf.]
“I got my iPad in LA when they first came out and I’ve used it every day without fail ever since. ”
[ie: I'm a massive tosser who went to America to buy an Expensive Shiny Thing and then smuggled it through customs to avoid paying the duty]
Update: Apple asked for help by workers ‘poisoned’ whilst making touch screens.