Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Out of office

Sunday, May 8th, 2011

How unfortunate that Ms Windbag, the local politico who liked to get  her name in the papers, has been deposed. The ‘out of office’ replies she sent to my emails after promising to help me and failing to do so now seem most apposite. Beware the curse of drD.

The Ambassador’s non-reception

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

“With these human rights abuses you are really soiling us”.

Western leaders !

Saturday, March 19th, 2011

Home political scene looking a bit fractious?

Why not create a handy distraction by bombing one of those far away countries that nobody knows the location of.

Never mind if innocent people get blown up.

You can call it a victory for democracy !

© G.Bush I&II, B.Clinton, J.Carter, G.Ford, R.Nixon, T.Blair, G.Brown, J.Major, M.Thatcher etc etc etc

Labour Leadership Election

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

With just over 3 hours until the new leader of the Labour Party is revealed it’s time for a little media analysis of the imagery used to represent the candidates to the electorate. First we have the group shot.

Labour leadership candidates

Looking like a collective of office drones on an awayday to the ‘Getting results from your Ringbinders in the 21st Century’ conference they gaze out uninspiringly. Burnham and Miliband, D protecting their parts, Diane glowing mumsily, Ed Balls not protecting his and Ed Miliband like a newly promoted office junior edging into the shot apologetically. This is supposed to be Labour projecting potential future prime ministers for us to choose from. Right.

Next, Labour decide to go all reportage and do a monochrome Power Slideshow of the candidates on the front page of their website as the nailbiting countdown to the Leadership Election result progresses (5 month countdown – gawd). So, rather than commission some suitably grave looking photographs (the nation and the party are in crisis remember) they decide to go Raw with a selection of bizarre portraits that send  enough mixed messages to be worthy of the Kenwood Chef Award.

Diane Abbot Here’s Diane looking like the love child of Lorraine Kelly, Dawn French and Lenny Henry. Sorry Diane, this is not saying ‘Prime Minister Diane Abbott’. Why did you let them use this photo? Have you not heard of Image Management Diane? Er, oh yes, you sent your son to a private school.
David Milliband David Miliband squinting into the future. It’s so bright he can barely open his eyes wide enough to look at it. From the Paddy Ashdown Book of Action Man Poses, DM is in need of a decent haircut, a jacket, a properly tied tie and some sedatives to cure him of that wild eyed Tigger thing he does when interviewed. Bright, smiley and ever so slightly Tonyblair, he somehow seems as mad as TB but not nearly as convincing. Or maybe we’re now just wise after being involved in World War 3 since electing the Toothsome One three times in a row. If DM gets the job, I’m officially worried.
Ed Milliband Doh! Godhelpus. I can only guess that David’s henchpeople chose this one. Never has such a dorky brainless looking photo been used to ‘promote’ a politician. Sure, there are plenty of off-guard shots used to make people like Bush Jr look even more stupid than they are (is that possible?) but here we have a supposedly serious political party supposedly showing off one of its brightest and best. At the time of writing Ed is favourite to win. If he does I hope he gets revenge on whoever published this. Truly moronic. And the Picture Editor is not too clever either.
Ed Balls Sweaty forehead, called Mr Balls, close friend of Gordon Brown. Some people have greatness thrust upon them. Others employ someone who knows how to use Photoshop. No chance.
Andy Burnham Of all the shots, this one is probably the best in terms of projecting some kind of vision and authority. Which is what you want from a political leader. Andy Burnham, when interviewed, always seems too young to be taken seriously yet somehow too old to be thought of as a youthful leader; which is what the Nation seems to want these days. Maybe it’s his northern accent. However, he’s probably the most photogenic of the five (the eyes convey just enough vulnerable twinkliness to endear him to the X Factor Generation) and this photo does a good job of making him look dynamic and friendly, yet with just enough crows-feet gravitas to come across as PM material. All of which serves no purpose whatsoever as a Miliband is going to win. Sigh. I blame Thatcher.

Yawning gap

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Annoying deluded person: “Wasn’t it lovely when they were walking in the door of number 1o? He looked so chuffed.”

drD thinks: Er no, it was pretty soul destroying actually. Some of us resent multi-millionaire toffs seizing control of our government to further their capitalist rich-boy agenda comrade.

Annoying deluded person: “Everything feels so hopeful again, like a fresh start.”

drD thinks: You mean like Tony Blair in 1997?

Annoying deluded person: “I thought it was really good that ministers will be taking a 5% pay cut”

drD thinks: Yep it’ll sure make all the redundant workers and re-possessed homeowners feel better that multi-millionaire cabinet ministers will be getting £137000  instead of £144000.

Annoying deluded person: “I think the coalition will be really good for the country; parties working together.”

drD thinks: Don’t you mean backstabbing each other as usual?

Annoying deluded person: “I really like David Cameron”

drD thinks: Oh sod off will you.

Change you can believe in

Friday, May 14th, 2010

Change you can believe in

One cannot help but notice the decrepitude of those appointed to high office by The Powerful Ones. Ken Clarke has always looked a bit shagged out. I suspect this is due to his fondness for Tobacco and real ale. He is also now nearly  seventy years old. What better candidate to represent the fresh, modern face of twenty first century Britain. What better way to present this  than by dressing up in wig, tights, shiny shoes and a gold trimmed cape. Truly the spirit of change is upon us. Form an orderly queue for your gruel peasants.

Change you can believe in

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

One cannot help but notice the strains of high office manifested in the premature ageing of The Powerful Ones. Tony Blair was a fresh faced youth upon taking office in 1997 yet, just a few years later, he was going grey and looked knackered. Nobody needs to Labour the point (geddit) that Gordon looked seriously shagged out by the time he exited stage left yesterday. He too was a healthy looking specimen when first he walked into Downing Street.

Before
After Now the New Lot are in and already we see how, within moments of assuming office, Our Glorious Leader has begun to decompose before our very eyes, such is the burden of Changeyoucanbelieveinwereallinthistogether.

Compare the election poster from a few weeks ago (above) to the image of Our Glorious Leader taken today (left). Notice the key areas of decomposition which have already started to manifest themselves on Our Glorious Leader’s once impeccable features. How cruel the ravages of leadership. How worrying that things as we saw them before May 6th may not not be as we see them afterwards.

Saturday, May 8th, 2010

Election reflection
1. Joan Collins praising Cameron, describing him as looking ‘Presidential’. Endorsement from an embalmed woman famous for playing an evil scheming bitch.  No need for Thatch this time round then.
2. Ed Vaizey looking uncomfortable when asked by Paxo if he’d ever consider getting into bed with Lord Mandelson.
3. The real reason for the delay: Gordon Brown frantically unscrewing fixtures and fittings inside No 10 before removal van arrives.

Election day

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Google Election Day logo

Just over 13 years ago today we jumped up and down with glee, drank champagne and looked forward to a future different to the grim past we’d endured for 18 years. Hateful politicians, indifferent to their grinding down of public life, their self-serving sleazy behaviour and their nasty mantra of telling you that they were screwing you for your own good – they were ejected in the biggest political landslide in generations. Some of this now sounds familiar to present voters. How things change. And how they stay the same. Having waited so long for my party to gain power, my sense today, as it seems unlikely they will keep it, is one of pride at what has been achieved with all the social advances that have been made. Shame, that all the good has been undermined by some stupid decisions borne of detachment from the political faith they promised to keep when they came to power. Hope, that the predictions of defeat may not come to pass and despair about what lies ahead if they do. That sunny May morning of 13 years ago seems a distant place now but I will never forget the feeling that something really really good had happened. Tomorrow morning doesn’t look like it’s going to be sunny or warm and the forecast is not looking too good for the next few years.

Electofacts

  • Today is Tony Blair’s birthday.
  • Number 10 Downing Street was number 5 until 1779.

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

Change you can believe in