Saturday, December 31, 2005
Moira Anderson, Gerry Anderson, Captain Scarlet, Mysteron, Hoots mon, Andy Stewart, Andy Pandy, Andi Peters, top of the pops, petered out, Rome flop, new pope, same old rope, Moria Stewart, Kenneth McKellar, Kenneth Kendall, Kendal mint cake, wee Jimmy Krankie, Billy Connolly, Live a lotto, Live a lie, do or die, Isle of Skye, McHaggis the Haggis Monster, Flash cleans baths without scratching, Donald where's yer troosers, Donald Dewar, Donald McDonald, Donald Duck, Roland Rat, Roald Dahl, Ronald McBurger, wee dram, wee Robin, big Mo, tick tock, Madonna's growler, Pauline Fowler, Abba fabber, Mama Mia, Doogie Donnelly, Boogy Woogy, Jules Holland, Netherland, Neverland, never going back, Rick Astley, Stock Aitken Waterman, slaughtermen, Gordon Ramsay OBE, Oh Bleedin Ell, where's Jamie?, try something new today, turkey twizzler, super sizzler, phwoar, it was the sun, wot won, landslide slid away, glad to be gay, oh happy day, gay penguins, stolen penguin, Tunnocks Teacakes, Singapore sling, Olympic thing, King Kong.
7, 7
Ecclestone quits, Wrapstar quits, Jordan gets her vocal chords out for the lads, Chaffinch flew, banned hoodies, Jade Goody celebrity-pah, Kinga the minga, George n Kate, two in the Bush, McCririck's pants, Neighbours twenty, horse in carriage, royal marriage, channel four, 100 greatest bores, evva.
Edith Bowman, Brucey Showman, strictly ballroom, not mushroom, for the Routemaster, faster, bendier, bigger, nastier, Simon Cowell, X Factor vomit, Wallace and Gromit, giant rabbit, bad habit, Kate Moss, Docherty dross, dead loss, dead cat, Take That, no Robbie, Greyfriars Bobby, Scottish Parliament, David Tennant, new who, boo hoo, no more Balamory, Hamish McBeth, similar death, same old story, new Tory Leader, posh bleeder, posh and becks, feck off, Chris Evans, Billie Piper, still Friends, endless repeats, Tony's going, Gordon's coming, Charlie's thinking, maybe drinking, a wee dram, nazi prince, royal wince, Graham's mince, strictly.
Twice nightly, Ronnie B, Peter Benenson, good guys three.
Guardian redesign, Coxy please resign, back to the moon, Jackie Stallone, loon, cheap on the phone, saynoto0870, Eugene, hello, geldof, ***ck off, to poverty, massive explosion, face transplant, Phil & Grant, BFN mogadonmart, more Taggart, Monarch of the Glen, Ellen MacA, drMcD, that's all from me
for now...
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 PM
7, 7
Ecclestone quits, Wrapstar quits, Jordan gets her vocal chords out for the lads, Chaffinch flew, banned hoodies, Jade Goody celebrity-pah, Kinga the minga, George n Kate, two in the Bush, McCririck's pants, Neighbours twenty, horse in carriage, royal marriage, channel four, 100 greatest bores, evva.
Edith Bowman, Brucey Showman, strictly ballroom, not mushroom, for the Routemaster, faster, bendier, bigger, nastier, Simon Cowell, X Factor vomit, Wallace and Gromit, giant rabbit, bad habit, Kate Moss, Docherty dross, dead loss, dead cat, Take That, no Robbie, Greyfriars Bobby, Scottish Parliament, David Tennant, new who, boo hoo, no more Balamory, Hamish McBeth, similar death, same old story, new Tory Leader, posh bleeder, posh and becks, feck off, Chris Evans, Billie Piper, still Friends, endless repeats, Tony's going, Gordon's coming, Charlie's thinking, maybe drinking, a wee dram, nazi prince, royal wince, Graham's mince, strictly.
Twice nightly, Ronnie B, Peter Benenson, good guys three.
Guardian redesign, Coxy please resign, back to the moon, Jackie Stallone, loon, cheap on the phone, saynoto0870, Eugene, hello, geldof, ***ck off, to poverty, massive explosion, face transplant, Phil & Grant, BFN mogadonmart, more Taggart, Monarch of the Glen, Ellen MacA, drMcD, that's all from me
for now...
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 PM
Critical mess
Do you find it difficult to take criticism?
Part of the reason I became my own boss was that I finally had enough of being told what to do by people who were just on a different page of the Idiot Manual to me. I find it difficult to recall any boss I've ever had that I've respected. This probably says more about me than about them. They, in the main, had followed the Idiot Manual closely and made sure that they wore all the optional attachments at all times. They knew how to recite the management mantras from appendices A thru F and did so with varying degrees of conviction. ["I'm just telling you this because X has told me to tell you" - is one memorable chinless example]. I do respect talent and genius tempered with cuddly loveliness. Unfortunately not many bosses possess this demanding combination of traits, since most of the furry Einsteins are too busy attaining nirvana and banking large cheques than to have time to mediate mundane middle management. I've concluded, therefore, that I'm probably unemployable, in the traditional sense of being an obedient lackey. All of this brought to a head by Guy Browning's piece today. He writes, "Well-delivered criticism works on the basis that the offender (don't call him the offender, obviously) had the very best of intentions, but his chosen actions delivered precisely the opposite of the desired effect. If only the offender would change his actions, then everyone would achieve a higher and simultaneously deeper level of happiness, and he would be able to avoid being such a bloody idiot."
The rest of the article sets the scene to this insightful conclusion very well. Recommended reading for all those who aspire to be idolised by the inferiors. Placing yourself in the shoes of those you are about to slag is a practice I recommend. If you can be arsed to do it. I fear, though, it is too late for I. I've just filed weekly part 96 of the Manual in the shredder; the paper's a lovely quality and makes fine bedding for the hamsters.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:00 PM
Greetings pop pickersDo you find it difficult to take criticism?
Part of the reason I became my own boss was that I finally had enough of being told what to do by people who were just on a different page of the Idiot Manual to me. I find it difficult to recall any boss I've ever had that I've respected. This probably says more about me than about them. They, in the main, had followed the Idiot Manual closely and made sure that they wore all the optional attachments at all times. They knew how to recite the management mantras from appendices A thru F and did so with varying degrees of conviction. ["I'm just telling you this because X has told me to tell you" - is one memorable chinless example]. I do respect talent and genius tempered with cuddly loveliness. Unfortunately not many bosses possess this demanding combination of traits, since most of the furry Einsteins are too busy attaining nirvana and banking large cheques than to have time to mediate mundane middle management. I've concluded, therefore, that I'm probably unemployable, in the traditional sense of being an obedient lackey. All of this brought to a head by Guy Browning's piece today. He writes, "Well-delivered criticism works on the basis that the offender (don't call him the offender, obviously) had the very best of intentions, but his chosen actions delivered precisely the opposite of the desired effect. If only the offender would change his actions, then everyone would achieve a higher and simultaneously deeper level of happiness, and he would be able to avoid being such a bloody idiot."
The rest of the article sets the scene to this insightful conclusion very well. Recommended reading for all those who aspire to be idolised by the inferiors. Placing yourself in the shoes of those you are about to slag is a practice I recommend. If you can be arsed to do it. I fear, though, it is too late for I. I've just filed weekly part 96 of the Manual in the shredder; the paper's a lovely quality and makes fine bedding for the hamsters.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:00 PM
We're currently liking:
When the sun goes down - Arctic Monkeys. 'He's a scumbag don't ya know'
Earthy northern goodness.
I heard em say - Kanye West. 'Things we see on the screen are not ours'.
Beautiful.
[ Sample links are good for 24 hours ]
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:43 AM
Twiglet zoneWhen the sun goes down - Arctic Monkeys. 'He's a scumbag don't ya know'
Earthy northern goodness.
I heard em say - Kanye West. 'Things we see on the screen are not ours'.
Beautiful.
[ Sample links are good for 24 hours ]
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:43 AM
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Only last year I was saying how much I enjoy this time of year, 'no mans land', between Christmas and New Year. Am I allowed to change my mind?
Body clock all over the shop due to uncontrollable urge to sit up half the night watching gadawful 'holiday movies' and dire four hour long quiz shows. Waistline expanding due to unprecedented mince pie, twiglet and guinness fest [don't go there]. Strange gastric rumblings necessitating lots of brisk walks in sub zero temperatures in near darkness. Wading through mountains of bin bags ejected onto the pavement by frenzied overfed families with credit abuse issues. Whose idea was all this?
Next year: an organic lettuce leaf and some mineral water on a beach in the Southern Hemisphere.
That'd be right.
Better start saving.
European Union
A major festive knicker twisting event is in session in Vienna.
Some artists have created a set of rather tasteful posters [ wholesome version of one shown above ] which extol the virtues of the EU in symbolic form. One features three highly toned actors wearing rubber masks of George W, Queenie and Jacques Chirac. The 'heads of state' are interacting in a wholly non constitutional manner. All hell has broken loose as a result, with much government frothing and foaming in a Daily Mail stylee. They are a bit right-wing in Vienna I hear.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:56 PM
Holiday hiatusBody clock all over the shop due to uncontrollable urge to sit up half the night watching gadawful 'holiday movies' and dire four hour long quiz shows. Waistline expanding due to unprecedented mince pie, twiglet and guinness fest [don't go there]. Strange gastric rumblings necessitating lots of brisk walks in sub zero temperatures in near darkness. Wading through mountains of bin bags ejected onto the pavement by frenzied overfed families with credit abuse issues. Whose idea was all this?
Next year: an organic lettuce leaf and some mineral water on a beach in the Southern Hemisphere.
That'd be right.
Better start saving.
European Union
A major festive knicker twisting event is in session in Vienna.
Some artists have created a set of rather tasteful posters [ wholesome version of one shown above ] which extol the virtues of the EU in symbolic form. One features three highly toned actors wearing rubber masks of George W, Queenie and Jacques Chirac. The 'heads of state' are interacting in a wholly non constitutional manner. All hell has broken loose as a result, with much government frothing and foaming in a Daily Mail stylee. They are a bit right-wing in Vienna I hear.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:56 PM
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Stuck at home with demented relatives?
Forcing high calorie foods and endless cups of tea down your gullet?
Can't take any more reruns of Jamie's School Dinners?
Finding the idea of a brisk walk appealing?
Stop!
Why not go on the interweb instead and search for your innermost longings.
Many do at this time of year; as is evident from these recent bignjuicy searches:
Carol Vorderman bum [ a perennial favourite this one]
constant yawning [ go out for a brisk walk]
uk shaggers [ there's a lot of em about]
adult web cams in Norwich [ hmm... ]
unfeasibly large breasts [ Jordan is so last year ]
upvc front door milton keynes [ many are they ]
irish wolfhounds [ the best dog in the world, probably ]
who hated gordon the gopher so much [ sorry I haven't a clue ]
funny things that happened in the uk in 2005 [ where do I begin ? ]
Amazin
If you bought something from Amazon in the run up to the Season of Niceness then you'd be wise to keep an eye on the price of it for a month afterwards.
Amazon, apparently, have a little known 'price drop' policy. This means that should they drop the price of an item you've purchased, within a month of that purchase, they will refund the difference in price.
Via the most excellent Digg.com
Amazon phone numbers [ also little known ]:
UK Customer Service 0208.636.9200
Freephone (only from within the UK): 0800 279 6620
Phone (outside the UK): +44 20 8636 9451
Fax (free from within the UK): 0800 279 6630
Fax (outside the UK): +44 20 8636 9401
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 PM
Thing a thong of exthmasForcing high calorie foods and endless cups of tea down your gullet?
Can't take any more reruns of Jamie's School Dinners?
Finding the idea of a brisk walk appealing?
Stop!
Why not go on the interweb instead and search for your innermost longings.
Many do at this time of year; as is evident from these recent bignjuicy searches:
Carol Vorderman bum [ a perennial favourite this one]
constant yawning [ go out for a brisk walk]
uk shaggers [ there's a lot of em about]
adult web cams in Norwich [ hmm... ]
unfeasibly large breasts [ Jordan is so last year ]
upvc front door milton keynes [ many are they ]
irish wolfhounds [ the best dog in the world, probably ]
who hated gordon the gopher so much [ sorry I haven't a clue ]
funny things that happened in the uk in 2005 [ where do I begin ? ]
Amazin
If you bought something from Amazon in the run up to the Season of Niceness then you'd be wise to keep an eye on the price of it for a month afterwards.
Amazon, apparently, have a little known 'price drop' policy. This means that should they drop the price of an item you've purchased, within a month of that purchase, they will refund the difference in price.
Via the most excellent Digg.com
Amazon phone numbers [ also little known ]:
UK Customer Service 0208.636.9200
Freephone (only from within the UK): 0800 279 6620
Phone (outside the UK): +44 20 8636 9451
Fax (free from within the UK): 0800 279 6630
Fax (outside the UK): +44 20 8636 9401
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 PM
Sunday, December 25, 2005
One
Saturday, December 24, 2005
...day.
The hunger will cease.
The pain will be no more.
The smile will return.
One day.
When life is polarised and we see more clearly.
When there is no choice but to pause for a while and think.
When we can make a little progress.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:54 AM
TwoThe hunger will cease.
The pain will be no more.
The smile will return.
One day.
When life is polarised and we see more clearly.
When there is no choice but to pause for a while and think.
When we can make a little progress.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:54 AM
Friday, December 23, 2005
...hot to handle:
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:16 PM
Three |  |
| Poor little Toga, the 3 month old Jackass penguin, birdnapped from a zoo on the Isle of Wight last week. Time is running out for the little chap. Mum & Dad are off their food and pining [ can penguins pine? ] for him. If you are reading this, penguin pinchers, please return Toga. Everyone wants a happy ending for Christmas. | Reclining Figure by Henry Moore was carted off from a carpark. Not the sort of thing you'd hide under your jacket, being a two ton job n all. Should you be offered a cut price bronze off the back of a lorry, [ mercedes of course ], think on. You don't get many of these to the pound. In fact three million required to get just one. Indeed. |
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:16 PM
Thursday, December 22, 2005
....trees.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:16 PM
Four |  |  |
| The Ginko tree. Is of an ancient species. Introduced to Britain in the 16th century. The tree is a survivor; The Housenbou Ginkgo - 1 mile from ground zero, lived through the Hiroshima atomic blast. | The Holly Tree. The legend is that the Holly first sprang up under the footsteps of Christ, when He trod the earth. Its thorny leaves and scarlet berries are likened to drops of blood. | The Spruce is traditionally used as a Christmas tree. Introduced to Britain by Prince Albert, hubby of Queen Vic. |
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:16 PM
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
....moments of the year:
I had a blogcrisis.
I met a hero of mine.
I found the grave of Michael Collins in Dublin.
The moon took on new meaning.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 PM
FiveI had a blogcrisis.
I met a hero of mine.
I found the grave of Michael Collins in Dublin.
The moon took on new meaning.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 PM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
...lessons
I realised that not everyone got presents.
I learnt that online present shopping improved the quality of my life.
I understood that greater monetary value does not equal greater satisfaction - style is far more important.
I wanted a computer. I had to wait a bit longer than I thought I might by which time I didn't want one.
I knew where my presents were hidden but only looked at one as I didn't want to spoil the surprise.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:39 PM
SixI realised that not everyone got presents.
I learnt that online present shopping improved the quality of my life.
I understood that greater monetary value does not equal greater satisfaction - style is far more important.
I wanted a computer. I had to wait a bit longer than I thought I might by which time I didn't want one.
I knew where my presents were hidden but only looked at one as I didn't want to spoil the surprise.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:39 PM
Monday, December 19, 2005
My first love.
The lesbian I once lived with.
My one time best friend who is now a successful author.
My one time best friend who is now a successful father.
My one time best friend who is now a successful postman.
My one time colleague who was a ballroom dancing freak and lived with a man who had an appalling wig.
I wonder where and what and will we ever and why etc...
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:08 PM
SevenThe lesbian I once lived with.
My one time best friend who is now a successful author.
My one time best friend who is now a successful father.
My one time best friend who is now a successful postman.
My one time colleague who was a ballroom dancing freak and lived with a man who had an appalling wig.
I wonder where and what and will we ever and why etc...
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:08 PM
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Calm down dear and eat your mashed artichoke
"There are tremendous psychosocial pressures at Christmas. There are people you haven't seen for ages and maybe don't want to see, you're probably suffering from spending a lot of money and on top of it, you have your blood sugar levels all over the place and that is not a good recipe for a calm, relaxing day,"
Santa's Sack
..used to beat him senseless.
Keep it short
"We're not against Christmas. We'd just like to see it kept in proportion."
"Most people dislike such displays. And it’s very selfish of you to impose it on your neighbours."
Indeed.
Flashing Santa
"We are treating these incidents extremely seriously."
When Santas attack
"Santarchy, he said, was a worldwide phenomenon designed to dismantle the commercialisation of Christmas."
Wouldn't it be simpler to knit your own wrapping paper and read the Guardian mate?
When Santa is attacked
Oh dear.
1500
Santas can't be wrong.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 1:50 PM
"There are tremendous psychosocial pressures at Christmas. There are people you haven't seen for ages and maybe don't want to see, you're probably suffering from spending a lot of money and on top of it, you have your blood sugar levels all over the place and that is not a good recipe for a calm, relaxing day,"
Santa's Sack
..used to beat him senseless.
Keep it short
"We're not against Christmas. We'd just like to see it kept in proportion."
"Most people dislike such displays. And it’s very selfish of you to impose it on your neighbours."
Indeed.
Flashing Santa
"We are treating these incidents extremely seriously."
When Santas attack
"Santarchy, he said, was a worldwide phenomenon designed to dismantle the commercialisation of Christmas."
Wouldn't it be simpler to knit your own wrapping paper and read the Guardian mate?
When Santa is attacked
Oh dear.
1500
Santas can't be wrong.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 1:50 PM
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Ze veakest link
Regarding the new Chancellor of Germany: Is there something we haven't been told?
Sorry about the paucity of postings. I think it's SBO [ Seasonal Blogger Disorder ].
Fat cat
Cutecat reappeared earlier after an interval of a few weeks. He appears to have eaten his friend, Garfield, because he is now nearly twice the size he was when I last saw him. He doesn't feel heavier though - which is curious. I wonder if he has grown a winter coat which makes him look larger? Still a handsome bugger. I told him that he is world famous. Just sniffed and slinked off.
Get real
Seven viewers have complained after a TV chef showed the slaughter of six turkeys on his cookery show. So now OFCOM are going to 'launch an investigation'. What exactly are they going to investigate? The national obsession with eating animals yet shying away from actually seeing them killed? I wonder if Sainsburys showed slaughterhouse scenes - instead of Jamie Oliver wandering through a field of grateful sheep - in their adverts; would meat consumption drop?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:59 AM
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
It's never a good idea to drop a fan heater from a height onto a hard floor - even if it's not plugged in at the time. [ Don't try this at home ]. You may find after having dropped it and plugging it in that a sheet of blue sparks fly out of the front and the whole house fills with the smell of burning plastic. Suddenly all of your appliances may stop working [ No vicar - that one's battery powered ]. You may wonder why and then you will realise that at 1am you have blown the main fuse too. You may wander to your fuse box, gradually realising that your frozen eccles cakes are at that very moment reanimating. You may look for a spare fuse and you may... find one left over from that questionable electricity repair man who fiddled around with your supply board amidst another crisis a few years back. Thankyou oh god of electrickery - I couldn't have coped with losing my eccles - especially as they were free.
Shopping list for next day:
A set of spare master fuses [ just in case ] - £UnbloodybelievableB&Qripoff
New fan heater.
The current retail selection of fan heaters is visually vile.
The deceased was a slinky black lo-profile number that warmed the cockles of my pants without intruding into my aesthetic environs. Sadly they appear to have broken that particular mould so now the choice is: Cheap white shiny plastic with horrible knobby controls. Silver space cadet recycled barbecue grill style with moulded PVC parts. Silver space cadet imitation Thunderbird tower stylee with digital readout and remote control [ remote control?!! ]. None will suffice. Life is too short for sufficing. I need matt black and I need it bad.
Mercifully amazon has the answer.
God, I'm such a design victim.
It's all getting very good on board the sham shuttle currently in orbit at a height of 6 feet over Suffolk. The 'Russian' flight commander has applied his mascara. The crew have taken the oath of allegiance - begging for admission to Uranus and Johnny Vaughan crept in through the wardrobe for a nice chat with two of the onboard stooges earlier.
Cosmonaut Charlie [one of the fakes] does a nice line in p**s taking using plenty of ambiguous conversation with the sad dupes - no doubt to be replayed later as their 'worst bits' package. The presentation steers a nice line between Big Brother style human drama and carryon-esque cheesy humour. The unseen star of the show has to be Capcom Krimsk with his Kryten voice directing the crew to perform all sorts of crazy stunts just this side of credible. Tension is building as the moment of revelation nears. I expect a twist in the tale.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:20 PM
Shopping list for next day:
A set of spare master fuses [ just in case ] - £UnbloodybelievableB&Qripoff
New fan heater.
The current retail selection of fan heaters is visually vile.
The deceased was a slinky black lo-profile number that warmed the cockles of my pants without intruding into my aesthetic environs. Sadly they appear to have broken that particular mould so now the choice is: Cheap white shiny plastic with horrible knobby controls. Silver space cadet recycled barbecue grill style with moulded PVC parts. Silver space cadet imitation Thunderbird tower stylee with digital readout and remote control [ remote control?!! ]. None will suffice. Life is too short for sufficing. I need matt black and I need it bad.
Mercifully amazon has the answer.
God, I'm such a design victim.
It's all getting very good on board the sham shuttle currently in orbit at a height of 6 feet over Suffolk. The 'Russian' flight commander has applied his mascara. The crew have taken the oath of allegiance - begging for admission to Uranus and Johnny Vaughan crept in through the wardrobe for a nice chat with two of the onboard stooges earlier.
Cosmonaut Charlie [one of the fakes] does a nice line in p**s taking using plenty of ambiguous conversation with the sad dupes - no doubt to be replayed later as their 'worst bits' package. The presentation steers a nice line between Big Brother style human drama and carryon-esque cheesy humour. The unseen star of the show has to be Capcom Krimsk with his Kryten voice directing the crew to perform all sorts of crazy stunts just this side of credible. Tension is building as the moment of revelation nears. I expect a twist in the tale.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:20 PM
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Lion Herts
If you've got an exploding oil depot who better to put out the flames than the firemen of Herts. Wonder what it feels like to be a hero?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:36 PM
Computer says, "I've been vaporised in a fireball".If you've got an exploding oil depot who better to put out the flames than the firemen of Herts. Wonder what it feels like to be a hero?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:36 PM
Monday, December 12, 2005
My local TV news, 'Look Juicy', this evening was reporting that several local hospitals were unable to access their IT systems due to the recent Armageddon style scenario at Hemel Hempstead. I was puzzled by this at first because I couldn't figure out how these hospitals, which are many miles from Inferno Central, could be affected - specifically their IT systems. After a while the reporter mentioned, almost in passing, that the company which provides the systems to the hospital had been destroyed in the explosion. So, lets get this clear. The hospital IT systems are dependent on a company many miles away which happens to have been annihilated. Presumably they kept a backup of the data. Presumably they have a disaster recovery plan in place. Presumably keeping such data offsite is common practice for hospitals. I was never aware of this and I wonder how many NHS patients are? This makes me even more wary of committing personal information to organisations who store it on a computer. Can you be sure of where it's going to end up and who will see it or if it will be lost when you most need it?
In the same vein - do you know where your bank's data centre is located and whether or not it's in close proximity to something likely to explode? The hospitals reckon it will take at least a week for them to get their systems back on line. If your bank was 'offline' for a week or more - how would this affect your life?
I wonder if I should keep an emergency bundle of fivers under the bed?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:16 PM
In the same vein - do you know where your bank's data centre is located and whether or not it's in close proximity to something likely to explode? The hospitals reckon it will take at least a week for them to get their systems back on line. If your bank was 'offline' for a week or more - how would this affect your life?
I wonder if I should keep an emergency bundle of fivers under the bed?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:16 PM
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Football crazy
Sven-Goran Eriksson appeals to British Football Fans to drop anti German chanting during the forthcoming World Cup Tournament. "The players and I would really like to see them stop chanting the particular song that refers to the '10 German bombers' because it is really disrespectful to the host nation." Britain's ambassador to Germany, Sir Peter Torry, added, "I would hope that the old stereotypes of 60 years ago are not warmed up again for this occasion. The people here find it deeply upsetting. They cannot understand why we don't seem capable of growing up." Quite. It's not like most football fans were actually born whilst WW2 was going on is it? I wonder why they are obsessed with it?
On BBC2 tonight
8.20pm
Dad's Army The elderly platoon take part in an exercise with the regular Army. Wartime comedy, starring Arthur Lowe and Clive Dunn.
8.50pm
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the “Final Solution” The final episode examines the liberation of Auschwitz and other camps by the Soviet Red Army. A number of SS officers employed at the camp were able to get away, with Eichmann evading capture for 15 years, while Mengele would escape justice altogether.
9.40pm
The Statement (FILM) 2003 A French collaborator joins a Nazi-controlled group during World War Two, charged with tracking down and executing members of the Resistance. Starring Michael Caine, Tilda Swinton, Alan Bates.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:20 PM
Sven-Goran Eriksson appeals to British Football Fans to drop anti German chanting during the forthcoming World Cup Tournament. "The players and I would really like to see them stop chanting the particular song that refers to the '10 German bombers' because it is really disrespectful to the host nation." Britain's ambassador to Germany, Sir Peter Torry, added, "I would hope that the old stereotypes of 60 years ago are not warmed up again for this occasion. The people here find it deeply upsetting. They cannot understand why we don't seem capable of growing up." Quite. It's not like most football fans were actually born whilst WW2 was going on is it? I wonder why they are obsessed with it?
On BBC2 tonight
8.20pm
Dad's Army The elderly platoon take part in an exercise with the regular Army. Wartime comedy, starring Arthur Lowe and Clive Dunn.
8.50pm
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the “Final Solution” The final episode examines the liberation of Auschwitz and other camps by the Soviet Red Army. A number of SS officers employed at the camp were able to get away, with Eichmann evading capture for 15 years, while Mengele would escape justice altogether.
9.40pm
The Statement (FILM) 2003 A French collaborator joins a Nazi-controlled group during World War Two, charged with tracking down and executing members of the Resistance. Starring Michael Caine, Tilda Swinton, Alan Bates.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:20 PM
Friday, December 09, 2005
All aboard
I know, let's get rid of all the Gondolas in Venice, sack all the Gondoliers and replace them with hermetically sealed fibreglass floating 'Gondolitas', fully accessible to mobility challenged dwarves with special needs and attitude problems. So would read the Italian version of London's transport policy. Only the Italians would never do that because they're not mentally defective and are as politically incorrect as Jeremy Clarkson's topless cleaning lady in 'Carry on What the Randy Dwarf Saw' shown in a cellar in Soho by Bunny Girls with £100 botles of champagne to fat businessmen. They would never replace an international icon with a cheap imitation. For it would be akin to substituting Madonna for Sophia Loren. Nuff said.
Widely covered today, the demise of the Routemaster, London's transport icon. Replaced with so many characterless wheeled spam tins that are dark, smelly and absent of seats. But heh, they're Accessible. [ So are Elton John's nether regions but you don't wanna do that ]. Is it really beyond the wit of British Design talent to have produced a contemporary replacement for the Routemaster? A new bus that is a delight to use, that lures you, gives you enjoyment and makes the everyday journey an event rather than a stressed out sardinofest. We'll probably have to wait for a Japanese or German manufacturer to make one and sell it back to us a'la Mini. Meanwhile a visual feast in this work of love, from where I adapted my own small tribute above. Extensive zippered nylon rainwear action with toggles, hood, pocket notebook and loads of pictures at the Geezer's.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 7:09 PM
Thursday, December 08, 2005
And I was like, 'why don't you stop arguing?' and he was like, 'Yeah right, what about the money?'. It was so annoying - yeah. I was saying, I'm here right? And I'm younger than you - yeah. And you're old - whatever and he's like grinning and stuff and I'm just looking at him and I go, 'You were the future once' and he was gutted - you could see and Gordy, right, he was shouting, 'Money', 'Money' - what is it? - is he Abba right? I was like well pleased, he was losin it. And I goes, whaddever - it was well wicked.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:56 PM
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Loving it
..when supermarkets pay you to take food out of their stores.
Tonight I picked up a job lot of luxury eccles cakes from my local supermarket.
Normal price: 75p for two. drD bignjuicy sell by today price: 10p for two. But there's more.
Eccles cakes are 'on special'. Two for the price of one or BOGOF to those in the know.
So, taking my job lot to the friendly cashier, they are scanned n packed. Upon leaving the store and inspecting my receipt I find that not only have they charged me 5p per bignjuicy eccles cake, they have refunded me 18.75p per eccles cake by virtue of their 'special' and the unique dysfunctional way that their till is programmed. They have thus paid me 13.7p per eccles cake to remove them from the store. I like this very much. I like eccles cakes even more. I love being paid to eat them.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:49 PM
..when supermarkets pay you to take food out of their stores.
Tonight I picked up a job lot of luxury eccles cakes from my local supermarket.
Normal price: 75p for two. drD bignjuicy sell by today price: 10p for two. But there's more.
Eccles cakes are 'on special'. Two for the price of one or BOGOF to those in the know.
So, taking my job lot to the friendly cashier, they are scanned n packed. Upon leaving the store and inspecting my receipt I find that not only have they charged me 5p per bignjuicy eccles cake, they have refunded me 18.75p per eccles cake by virtue of their 'special' and the unique dysfunctional way that their till is programmed. They have thus paid me 13.7p per eccles cake to remove them from the store. I like this very much. I like eccles cakes even more. I love being paid to eat them.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:49 PM
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Chav Relief
Following the tragic fire in November which vaporised the entire national stock of Primark Chavwear, a massive airlift today ensured that static electricity levels will be maintained during the festive period. Look out for those Taiwanese Thermal Thongs.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:27 PM
Following the tragic fire in November which vaporised the entire national stock of Primark Chavwear, a massive airlift today ensured that static electricity levels will be maintained during the festive period. Look out for those Taiwanese Thermal Thongs.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:27 PM
Monday, December 05, 2005
Anudder day
After a full on day today I took time to walk outside earlier. Just as I emerged into the open air a flock of starlings flew overhead squawking. I had a brief biblical moment, 'look at the birds of the air...'. Birds on another trajectory entirely when compared with my own, fully kitted out for what they need, fully focused on what they were doing. High above the human cares and woes down below. Put it all in perspective a bit.
"He's got chubby cheeks and a plump upper class look about him. He seems more emollient than George Osborne, who's got a squeaky voice and a self-satisfied grin, but I'm sure it's the same right-wing agenda."
So says Sir Steve Bell. Looks like there's going to be a UK party leader younger than me for the first time. sigh
It all started on the internet
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:01 PM
BoxesAfter a full on day today I took time to walk outside earlier. Just as I emerged into the open air a flock of starlings flew overhead squawking. I had a brief biblical moment, 'look at the birds of the air...'. Birds on another trajectory entirely when compared with my own, fully kitted out for what they need, fully focused on what they were doing. High above the human cares and woes down below. Put it all in perspective a bit.
"He's got chubby cheeks and a plump upper class look about him. He seems more emollient than George Osborne, who's got a squeaky voice and a self-satisfied grin, but I'm sure it's the same right-wing agenda."
So says Sir Steve Bell. Looks like there's going to be a UK party leader younger than me for the first time. sigh
It all started on the internet
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:01 PM
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Tate Modern at night takes on a different feel from that of the daytime hordes. It feels more special, more of an event. The night time views over London from the upper terraces are spectacular too. I popped in to take a look at the Rachel Whiteread installation, Embankment. I enjoyed wandering through the landscape of translucent plastic boxes. Feeling dwarfed by the towers, taking time to stand and stare. Observing the subtleties of glow in the boxes as they catch the light from above. Enjoying hiding in the many 'secret' passages at the edges. It doesn't feel profound but it's fun. There were plenty of people there too enjoying it so that's good isn't it?
Some nice pictures here, courtesy of Shaun.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:06 PM
Saturday, December 03, 2005
A visit today to the Estorick collection to take a look at their collection of Italian Futurist works. This would be a lovely spot, slightly off the beaten track, in Islington to come on a sunny summer day. You could sit out in the courtyard cafe eating some of the delicious Italian grub on offer after going round the jewel-like collection of works amassed by Eric and Salome Estorick and effectively given to the UK through the creation of this charming little Georgian House gallery. However, today was not such a day and I was quickly inside, escaping from the gloomy drizzle. The works need daylight - tungsten is no substitute. I'll need to go back when it's brighter. However, there's no denying that this is quite a collection and they have a regular programme of temporary exhibitions too and some very attractive gallery staff too.
Favourite works seen today:
Hand of the violinist by Giacomo Balla
Modern Idol by Boccioni [ crazy name, crazy guy ]
Urban Landscape by Mario Sironi
The current exhibition - I found to be a bit impenetrable. I arrived just as the curator was giving a talk. I listened. For nearly an hour. It was still pretty impenetrable. Maybe it was the weather. A pile of bricks wrapped in manky old fabric with a boot on top filled with plaster is a challenge - even to one as open minded as I.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:39 PM
Yo ho ho etcFavourite works seen today:
Hand of the violinist by Giacomo Balla Modern Idol by Boccioni [ crazy name, crazy guy ]
Urban Landscape by Mario SironiThe current exhibition - I found to be a bit impenetrable. I arrived just as the curator was giving a talk. I listened. For nearly an hour. It was still pretty impenetrable. Maybe it was the weather. A pile of bricks wrapped in manky old fabric with a boot on top filled with plaster is a challenge - even to one as open minded as I.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:39 PM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how excited should I be about the approach of Christmas?
2. Would you recommend that I, a. Stay in the UK or b. Get the hell out?
3. Should I choose to stay, what different activity could I undertake this Christmastide to salvage a sense of meaning from the consumerist vacuum?
4. What was your best ever Christmas?
5. What would be your ideal Christmas?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:36 PM
2. Would you recommend that I, a. Stay in the UK or b. Get the hell out?
3. Should I choose to stay, what different activity could I undertake this Christmastide to salvage a sense of meaning from the consumerist vacuum?
4. What was your best ever Christmas?
5. What would be your ideal Christmas?
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:36 PM
Crapola
Someone 'had a go' at me this morning. Letting rip for something I'm supposed to have not done that was expected of me only I didn't know it was expected of me - I was supposed to 'read between the lines'. Men don't read between lines. And, even if I could, I still wouldn't have done what I was expected to do because it was bloody unreasonable and unnecessary. Crap start to the day though and I hate the way one negative incident like this can bugger up your whole day. Justice will prevail at a time of my choosing...
Foxy
Firefox 1.5 is available - [ official launch soon but I've downloaded it and it works fine ]. Biggest improvement I can see is the inclusion of drag and drop on tabs so you can reorder to your hearts content. I've had this for a while on old Firefox by virtue of an extension and it's a great feature. Just as Firefox is a great browser.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:08 PM
Someone 'had a go' at me this morning. Letting rip for something I'm supposed to have not done that was expected of me only I didn't know it was expected of me - I was supposed to 'read between the lines'. Men don't read between lines. And, even if I could, I still wouldn't have done what I was expected to do because it was bloody unreasonable and unnecessary. Crap start to the day though and I hate the way one negative incident like this can bugger up your whole day. Justice will prevail at a time of my choosing...
Foxy
Firefox 1.5 is available - [ official launch soon but I've downloaded it and it works fine ]. Biggest improvement I can see is the inclusion of drag and drop on tabs so you can reorder to your hearts content. I've had this for a while on old Firefox by virtue of an extension and it's a great feature. Just as Firefox is a great browser.
freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:08 PM