Big n juicy

Cracking day at the ranch. Nature looking all bloomy and gorgeous. Climbing into my car this morning a large mango was waiting for me.
Looking all juicy and gorgeous. [The mango that is] A rogue mango that crawled liver like from the confines of my bag for life late on Friday night after I left the shopping in the car. Nothing else for it - the mango was coming to work with me. Not only does it get to fly from Puerto Rico in a temperature controlled Jumbo Jet it also gets a gratuitous early morning tour of the East Midlands. If you were a mango could you think of a better adventure?

Enjoying muchly the brilliant Double Take. Sven's pants being a particular favourite..

Q: Is irark anywhere near irack and where the hell is eyerack?

...and the verse is...

Mr Brown Goes Off To Town
To buy a few more Guns
But He Comes Home Each Evening
And He's Ready for his Fun

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:06 PM

For the mothers of this world - and especially for mine:
I miss you more than ever. x

I've spent far too long this evening investigating this fascinating site.
Highly recommended for when you need to reawaken your jaded intellectual faculties - makes a nice change from boozing shagging and fighting :p

Long-distance transport of solid goods by pipeline - Truck drivers be afraid
How does Video Plus work? - One for the algorithmically inclined
Why do humans cook food? - Far more disgusting options are detailed too
How does ironing work? - It doesn't in my case..
Why does laundry which is hung outside to dry always smell so much nicer? - Laundry? Outside? wassat?
Does beheading hurt? - My neighbour will soon know if he doesn't stop screaming
What will my neighbours head weigh? - [Prepares extra strong carrier bag...]

Currently listening to: Neighbour screaming at TV. Anyone know a good hit man?

"A pint of your best Irish non opaque beverage with non coalesced mie scattered foam topping please"

It appears that colour is not the only thing rendered more intense by light. This article from the New Scientist partially explains the mystery of my favourite pint - for nobody can fully possess the true spirit of the black velvet - ;)

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:09 PM

All this bright sunlight is showing up the dusty dark corners of my house. It's time to do some spring cleaning. There's a lot of medical evidence to show that sunlight has a beneficial effect on people. The brightness of the last week reminds me that growing up in Britain I had never truly understood what a visually impoverished climate we endure until I travelled south and saw what real sunshine involves. When I was about 18 I went on an Inter Rail trip around various European countries with various friends. We sure covered some mileage and got more than our money's worth from the ticket which then cost £126. [Dunno why I remember that I just do] Anyway on one leg of the journey we got as far south as Avila - just North West of Madrid. Avila is a medieval walled city. Reputedly the best preserved walled city in the world. It is famous as the birthplace of St Teresa. Teresa was instrumental in reform of monasticicsm. She had an eventful life and is famous for her ecstatic visions which have been interpreted with various degrees of favour by modern comentators. In Rome there is a famous Bernini statue of her having one of these visions. Her own description of the experience and the expression on the face of her statue might give you an idea of why the interpretations of her visions vary...
Anyway an abiding memory of that trip is sitting on a rocky hillside overlooking the walled city as the sun was setting. The walls were glowing red with the spectacular sunset and we were too after a fair quantity of local el plonko. I remember feasting on some local tomatoes - they were well juicy. Bright sunlight renders colour far more richly than the more subdued light in Britain. If you look around you when you are out and about most of the colours of our buildings and our clothes are subdued. Whenever bright colour is seen it really does seem to stand out. I think a lot of British people have an inherent conservatism when it comes to colour.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 6:50 PM

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Saddam
If You Think We're On The Run?
We Are The Boys Who Will Stop Your Little Game
We Are The Boys Who Will Make You Think Again
'Cause Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Saddam
If You Think Old Tony's Done?

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:33 AM

Lingua bellica:
liberating = invading

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:00 AM

'Avin a bit of a downer today.
It's them bleedin biorhythms.
I'm on me lowpoints for physical and emotional but highpoints for intellectual.
Gawd.
I'm orf to slap meself around with a large trout.

Is it just me?
Do I need help?
Do these two share any DNA?
Gail

Lingua bellica:
Shock and Awe = "If you go down to the shops today you may not come back"

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:01 AM

I'm a very friendly lion called Parsley.
I am always very glad to see you wave.
But please don't shout or speak to me too harshly.
Because I'm not particularly brave.

click here to play the song

Parsley was not my favourite Herb (see yesterday's post for him).
You always knew where you stood with Parsley.
As the star of the show he was an everpresent, slightly melancholic, figure. But he was very friendly in a slightly bumbling avuncular sort of way.
I seem to remember he would occasionally get a bit agitated. For Parsley this normally meant raising an eyebrow or summat equally understated.
A frequent source of Parsley eyebrow movement was Dill - Parsley's antithesis and best mate. Best mates are often antithetical to yourself I've found.
For some strange reason Parsley now reminds me of ITN political editor John Sergeant - who also seems a thoroughly nice chap.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:17 AM

Lingua bellica:
Gas gas gas = "Let's slip into something less comfortable while we wait to die horribly"

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:00 AM

This little fella has always been there in the back of my mind since I was a wee laddy.
Jumpin around breathless and excitedly doing his thing. Yep - it's Dill the Dog- and I luv him still - awww

Only one week in and a quick gallivant around blogland uncovers souls in need of laughter and others doing their best to provide it.

This from the bluetealeaf I liked muchly. My name is Squeezit Toiletfanny - according to a reliable source - which brings me Peter Purvis like to:
DG's anti-sex crusade - (are wing tipped spectacles being polished as I type?) - I offer the following passion killer link as a prophylactic - does it for me every time.

Lingua bellica:
WMD = Weapons of Mass Disinformation

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:50 AM

A panda goes into a restaurant and orders a pizza and a beer, eats the pizza and then produces a gun from his pocket, firing five shots into the ceiling. The panda then runs away. Armed police surround the area and eventually arrest the panda.
"Hey," says the police chief, "what's the meaning of this outrage?"
"I'm a panda," says the panda.
"So?" says the police chief.
"Go look it up in the dictionary. That will explain exactly why I did what I did."
The police chief looks up "panda" in the dictionary. The dictionary entry reads: "Panda: a bear-like mammal. Eats shoots and leaves."

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 7:13 PM

The recent speculation on the whereabouts of a certain warlike figure have been quelled today with an appearance on the airwaves this morning.
Far from the bombs and missiles and buried deep in a fortified bunker there was no mistaking the distinctive tones.
I knew it wouldn't be long before that chilling voice was heard again.
Apparently Saddam was on the telly this morning as well.

Meanwhile drD has noted the stealthy emergence of new amazon vying for the crown of her absent role model. She is Juliette Bremner of ITN and yesterday the soldier she was interviewing looked the teensiest bit scared in the face of Juliette's stiff interrogation technique. She has a girls-school-no-nonsense air about her and looks good in camo gear too. With John Simpson moving in from the north [Does anyone else reckon he's filing his reports from Shepherds Bush? - you never see him and he's always in 'Northern Iraq' - and Juliette spearheading from the south all that's needed is a final hammer time from Thatch [for drD predicts that she will shortly emerge from her audio exile to ride into battle atop a reconditioned Lancaster Bomber - and Johny Foreigner can kiss his ass bye bye. Tally ho!

PS - To confirm that I am not in fact a body double - could you please be arsed to post a comment? This moustache is starting to tickle.
Ta muchly :)

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:00 PM

Lingua bellica:
mopping up = killing people

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:01 AM

Do you live or work with a male Guardian reader?
If so, pay very close attention over the next few days - you may notice a change.
Something subtle - that you can't quite put your finger on.
A new fullness, body and vigour. Your male acquaintance may be sporting a new look.
For the Guardian has been giving away capacious sachets of 'Elvive for Men Thickening Shampoo' with 'Regenium XY' .
[Ah yes that well known miracle substance Regenium XY - how marvellous they've managed to incorporate it in an easy to use shampoo. Wasn't it clinically proven by Carol Vorderman a while back?]
Britain needs more men with luxuriant heads of hair.
Sadly this may directly impact on the combover brigade...but that's another post.

Found this poem today by our Poet Laureate
Causa Belli
They read good books, and quote, but never learn
a language other than the scream of rocket-burn
Our straighter talk is drowned but ironclad;
elections, money, empire, oil and Dad.
Andrew Motion

Lingua bellica:
Embedded = "Hey, I'm a journo and I get to wear Camo gear and ride around in a tank - kewl"

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:50 AM

Walking in the sunshine today. Curious what you run into around here. Two 8 year old boys setting fire to a coke bottle in the street. Four teenage boys attempting to break into an unused catholic church. One teenage boy roaring around the local park on a dodgy scrambler bike, no helmet [of course]. A steady stream of cars driving at high speed along a residential street and then mysteriously slowing down to a snails pace when they spot a speed camera. Seven teenage boys smoking weed down by the river. Three teenage boys trolleying down a pavement on a stolen shopping trolley. One teenage boy on a pushbike literally running into me on the pavement.
Two policemen driving past obviously on their way somewhere else.
It was a beautiful day though and I saw an owl perching on a fence :)

I've just realised - something is wrong!
Where is she?

Whatever happened to Sada from Big Brother 1?
Does Zola Budd still run in bare feet?
The grim end for Gordon the Gopher.
It's all here

"Tony Blair...You guys must hate it when you have somebody leading you that is right. What are you? French?"
Drub tells it like it is.

Lingua bellica:
Deconflict = "keep out of our way and we'll keep out of yours".
eg 'Tony appeared as a hologram and deconflicted with Jacques' digit'.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 1:21 PM

BBC1
6.00 BBC News War Report
6.30 Local News from Norwich and Baghdad
7.00 Iraq War special
9.00 Home Front
9.00 The Cruise
10.00 News - extended with latest War update
2.00 - 6.00 BBC News 24 - War: Live coverage

BBC2
6pm The Simpsons: Iraq special
6.20 TOTP2 live from the Gulf Club
6.45 Techno games - The missile competition
7.30 Changing Regimes - Carol Smilie and Sandy Andy rebuild an old Palace
8.00 Prime Ministerial Broadcast - Dance Mix
9.00 Meet the Ancestors - George and Donald revisit the past
10.30 Newsnight from Baghdad and Washington with Kirsty War

ITV
6.30 Evening News - War report
7.00 Basradale - Mustafa quits his job at the oil well.
7.30 ITV News Iraq report
8.00 The Bill - about 30 billion
9.00 At Home with the Husseins - firework party
10.00 News at Ten - Trevor McDonald in Kuwait in the dark
10.55 Weather: Hot and Sunny

C4
6.30 Not Friends - Tony & Jacques break up
7.00 News with Jon Snow in Abadtie and Zenab Badawi
8.00 A place in the Sun - A couple with four children relocate to the desert
9.00 ER -Carter enlists in the Medical Corps
9.55 Scud u like
10.00 Graham Norton - Camp David
11.10 Sex in The City - when we get back

Comment

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:17 PM

Cracking trailer for 'The Big Read' - Ruby & Aardman - class.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:05 PM

One thing I've gradually articulated to myself these last few weeks is that I sometimes deal with uncomfortable 'realities' by denying to myself that they are happening. Continuing to maintain an inner mental model of 'how the world should be' allows me to keep on keeping on. Increasingly though I've begun to appreciate how fragile existence is and how the norms we construct can be swept away by seemingly arbitrary events. Illness, redundancy, random accidents, wars.... In some ways I think my use of the internet is a partial reason for this realisation. Being exposed daily to vast amounts of information and myriad viewpoints makes for an interesting life and I soak it up. But I'm concerned that it's also a denial - another means of constructing a personal model of reality - sustained by public consumption of my thoughts and ideas. Reading blogs at the moment I'm struck by peoples attempts to make sense of what is going on. Those who engage and argue, those who adopt stoicism, those who satirise, those who pointedly write about other stuff (the 'displacers'). There is at the moment a sense of connectedness - everyone has a reaction - we are all affected. And so we are united by the fact that we share a need to react. From those in the firing line to those who remotely agonise in blogland. The fact that we are dealing with the very stuff of our existence as a species, it's continuance or it's demise. Dabbling in the natural order. Maybe this is the true power of war and one of the reasons we seem to have need of it. Is this it's seductive terrible calling?
with apologies to the displacers amongst my readers ;)

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:02 PM

"Consider the notion that black/ white right/wrong approaches to conflict have brought us to where we are now - ie bombing the crap out of people. This is demonstrably Not a Good Thing. I think Clare Short did something far more difficult than Robin Cook. No black/white with her. Grey doublethink seemingly contradictory - if you define it by the 'with me / against me' standards. To change your mind publicly, to be honest about your boss (when no-one else in the Cabinet was prepared to be) - then to 'stick with it' inspite of your deep reservations I think shows immense pragamatism but also wisdom."
Quarsan's been busy again but I aint gonna let him get away with attacking our Clare ;)
[ooh - he quotheth himselfeth - pretentious moi?]

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:55 PM

zZzZzZzZzZzZ
Bored [yawns, stretches and scratches things]
stupid site but funny - if you're bored
How coffee works - don't ask it's American
How underground pet fences work - good if your dog has PoW tendencies or you own a tame earthworm / mole etc.

"As recently as the 1940s, art forms which shared punk's ugliness, dissonance, and bohemian roots -- dada and surrealism in the visual arts, existentialism in philosophy, and serialism in music, to name but a few -- were considered scandalous and offensive by middle-class culture.....Since then, middle-class culture has come to regard these works of art as "classics," as "realistic" perspectives on society, things to be studied in the universities and copied -- minus their critical edge -- by the advertising industry...." hmm...not bored.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:52 PM

Tried out one of these today - and very nice it was too. Has a twisty screen that you reverse and clip over the keyboard. [ The casing was a bit cheap and plasticy though. ] Then you get your cheap plastic pen thingy and you can write onto the screen, point at things instead of using the mouse and rub things out using the cheap plastic eraser on the other end of the cheap plastic pen. What was V cool was the handwriting recognition bit that converts my dubious script into type written text. Very impressive how this technolgy has developed over the past few years. The first ever handwriting recognition thing I tried about five years ago was truly crap - it had about a 30% success rate - ie one in three words was recognised. Today it was more like 95% and the remaining 5% would be sorted if I practiced and learned to write properly again. [Years of keyboard use does not do much for your cursive script] Ironic that there may well be a move back to handwritten text, albeit combined with the power of a PC. Anyway - I want one of these badly - but I don't want one of these because it's far too cheap and plasticy and wouldn't last five minutes in the big butch world in which I operate. [Now where did I leave my hard hat?] There too many flimsy plastic latches held on by weak plastic springs, weird rubbery appendages glued onto strange plastic places and it kept making a mindless 'ding' sound when I squeezed the lid too tightly against the base with my big butch hands. So:- concept: 10/10, reality: 3/10 mainly due to the inherent cheapness and plasticyness.

Currently listening to: The neighbours having a row.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 7:42 PM

"Hello is that the police? Yes. I think something is wrong so I thought I'd better phone you. Well, it's my hair - it's sticking out a bit and people keep looking at me strangely....Hello?...Hello are you there?"

Today's handy hint: "Trust your instincts; if you feel something is wrong, ring the police"

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:19 PM

Clare Short's interview with Andrew Marr is thought provoking. Respect is due.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 3:48 PM

She's big: The Mother Of All Bush's

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 3:27 PM

Useful phrases upon arrival in northern parts.

English: Now look here my good man.
Cumbrian: Noo deek 'ere me barie gadgee

English: Please take me to the nearest outlet where I can obtain a Cafe Latte.
Cumbrian: Please tek me ter the neares' outlet where A can obtain a Cafe Latte.

English: A half pint of shandy please barman.
Cumbrian: A 'alf pin' o' shandy please barman

English: I come from Southern England.
Cumbrian: A come fre Southern England

English: My nose is bleeding.
Cumbrian: Me neb is bleedin'

English: Where is the nearest hospital?
Cumbrian: Where is the neares' 'ospital?

English: Where may I purchase a flat cap?
Cumbrian: Where mebbee A purchase a fla' cap, eh?

English: There is a sheep in my wardrobe.
Cumbrian: There is a sheep in me wardrobe

English: My dog has fouled your new carpet.
Cumbrian: Me dog 'as fouled yoower new carpe'

English: Do you have any duct tape?
Cumbrian: Dee ya 'ave any duc' tape, eh?

...as translated by The Cumbrianator - thanks to Zed

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 3:15 PM

Sigh - bleedin comments is down for a change

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:43 AM

Somewhere there's music
How faint the tune
Somewhere there's heaven
How high the moon

What a beautiful evening. Walking home tonight - a full moon. And tonight it seemed more beautiful than I can ever remember. I kept looking up at the slightly hazy moon. For the first time I understood what a 'silvery moon' looks like. An icy chill in the air quickened my step through the dark streets - all the while glimpses of the moon as I looked up while on my way. As I walked home tonight it felt very good to be alive.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:46 PM

"If you're Irish come into the parlour - there's a welcome at the door" - My Dad used to sing. [Especially after a few]. Well - if you are Irish have a good day and an even better evening. I know I will ;)

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:01 AM

Living in an anonymous suburban style desert it's easy to let one's standards slip of a weekend. Only this morning I slipped on a pair of mangy jeans and a crumpled t shirt for a quick milk run to mogadonmart [I promise I will write this up soon]. On the way I passed several shop windows trying not to catch sight of my sartorially challenged visage. Alas it was not to be. A nagging compulsion to check oneself out is one of my afflictions - [ok I'm vain - I confess]. I was confronted with a vision I can only describe as bad hair. More accurately, bed hair. There was a distinctly directional quality to the look - about 360 different ones to be accurate. Small children looked curiously at the 'weird man' as I passed. Suddenly I knew what it was like to walk around with a cat on your head. Eat your heart out Elton.

Some bad hair links:
bad hair pages
combovers - an urban artform
more of the same no rugs, no drugs, no plugs

I feel better now - mine was never that bad. [phones Bob the barber]

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:27 PM

"and tonight on BBC TV we have a great evening's entertainment for you. On BBC1 it's the Antiques Roadshow followed by endless Dame Thora Hird re-runs. Meanwhile over on 2 it's a news conference about the end of the world."

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 7:30 PM

Sheepy theme continues.
It's big: a large concrete sheep in New South Wales

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:30 PM

Toying with the idea of going to see Tony Bennett in Dublin in July. (I think he's about 80 or summat). Does this make me sad, old or both? I always regret not buying those Ella Fitzgerald tickets when she was last in London...

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:36 PM

How tacky is this?

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 2:07 PM

The power of drD grows daily. First the spooky Mar 5th Mathmos mind control. Now Feb 26th comes to fruition. Popbitch brings news of Moira in an embarrassing tale of mistaken identity. Diminutive Demis Roussos upon meeting Moira at BBC TV centre publicly smothers her with affection. Mere mortals might run screaming from the building (or at least fight for air - Demis is a big lad). Moira however is a big Demis fan and is reportedly elated by the encounter only to be cruelly deflated upon learning that Demis thought she was Shirley Bassey. Awww.
[drD shaves head and phones PetULike to order fluffy white pussy]

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 10:56 AM

5 years ago I went to see Ruby live. It was August, a sweaty no air-con pit of a theatre in Coventry. On a minimal stage Ruby strutted her stuff - for over an hour she gave her all. It was great. This week Ruby has been throwing herself into the charidee love in that is celebrity shame academy. With no thought of anything but her unabashed need for recognition and general validation Ruby has warbled, pounced and chirruped her way to a tuneless second place behind hunkomatic Will Mellor. What I like about Ruby, in all her manifestations is that she is herself totally - she makes no excuses - she craves attention - she understands herself. She's fascinated by people and engages. She has the acute sense of irony that only comes from a troubled past. Her biting humour I love.
Favourite moment from celebrity shame academy: When she apologised to her children for being their mother. Ruby - you wus robbed.

Spam update: 5 spams today - none worthy of inclusion in my spam project. Some impulse power is required so: 5p for each spam goes to Comic Relief until further notice. Here is the link or juice@bignjuicy.co.uk.

Favourite comic relief joke of day so far:
Q. What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Cardiff?
A. A leisure centre.
as posted earlier for charidee.
Apologies to my Welsh friends - this means you are allowed to do Mick jokes on Monday.

ooh - try typing 'French Military Victories' into Google and hit 'Im feeling lucky' . Has the CIA been busy?
thanks to birdman for this

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:00 PM

"My Gerbil Will Call You In 1 Hour" - received yesterday
Yesterday I launched my spam collection initiative. Remember I am collecting interesting spam - none of your 'Get Rich quick in 72 hours' - stuff - has to have a clever subject line. Perhaps it makes you want to open the message because it plays on your curiosity. Perhaps it's so crazy you just have to click. Either way I need that Spam so badly baby.
Send it to a good juicy home -juice@bignjuicy.co.uk - you know it makes sense ;)

Meanwhile looks like there is a lot more work than I realised going on in the Spamaverse.
IBM have an interesting prototype Super Spamatoresistive device which may appeal to the carnivorous spam victim. This allows the hapless spamee to convert his/her junkemail into edible foodstuff.
Can't see it catching on myself -specially for us veggies.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:00 PM

"Heighten Your Penis Size The Ecological Way" - received today

Huge rafts of human endeavour are taken up with pointless activity.
Nothing, though, can be more soul destroying then being a spam writer. Knowing that the results of your days work will cause annoyance, frustration, rage, resentment, indifference in varying degrees and that only a tiny fraction of your recipients will be gullible enough to take any action in repsonse to your pleadings other than to press 'delete'.
I have sometimes been struck by the inventiveness of the spammers in trying to fool you into opening their messages with subject lines that sound like they might just possibly be from someone that knows you who might just possibly be wanting to communicate with you although they have never emailed you before. As time has gone on I have become more and more attuned to their tricks and now rarely open spam. Lately though I've noticed that more outlandish subject lines are beginning to appear. This is the age of 'mature spam'. TV advertisers who no longer pretend that we take their ~~lies~~ claims at face value have adopted irony - they know that we know what they are up to so the joke moves to a new level. So spammers have learnt that to stand any hope of a double click they have to appeal to something other than our gullibility. I want to collect some classic examples of this new era spam for a little project I've been thinking about for a while. So - if you get some you think is worthy of preservation for it's cleverness - before you press 'delete' forward to moi - I'll give it a good home ;)

Huge Diamond Dr Evil type complex starts construction in Oxfordshire - is there something he's not telling us?

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 6:00 PM

Channel 4 news launches a 'war programme' next week. The words 'previous' and 'bit' come to mind.

It's juicy: Jacobs Creek Reserve Chardonnay. Fresh, rich, complex with floral notes and subtle oak. Lush. drD recommends it as the perfect basis for a midweek hangover.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:45 AM

BONG: Man wins tie sex ruling
It's the kinkiest office in town.
BONG: Sheep's head fractures fan's skull at concert A fan of Norwegian rock group Mayhem is suing the band after his skull was fractured by a flying sheep's head at one of their concerts.
Damien Hurst denies caterering stunt went wrong.
BONG: Thomas the Tank Engine may be making children frightened of going on trains because of the number of crashes in its stories.
...two singles to Great Ormond Street please.
BONG: "There was always the death of the Queen Mother hanging over me.." Jennie Bond is to leave to spend more time with her family
Would that be at Windsor or The Palace?

TV programme idea no4: An audience with Nicholas Witchell.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:00 PM

"Cheerful nihilism" carries the day, distinguished by an easy-going acceptance of meaninglessness. Such a development, Carr concludes, is alarming. If we accept that all perspectives are equally non-binding, then intellectual or moral arrogance will determine which perspective has precedence. Worse still, the banalization of nihilism creates an environment where ideas can be imposed forcibly with little resistance, raw power alone determining intellectual and moral hierarchies....dovetails nicely with Nietzsche, who pointed out that all interpretations of the world are simply manifestations of will-to-power."

When is an evil dictator so awful, so terrible that you risk everything to get rid of him?
When all about you are saying don't do it - what makes you want to appear so convinced that you have to do it?
When you know many people will die because of what you are proposing - why do you still persist?
When you can be sure that the world can never be the same again - what reassures you that tomorrow will be better than today?

It's pretty clear to me that we don't know the whole story about Iraq and we probably never will.
If he was faced with a choice - and lets assume he was given a choice - he has to know something pretty compelling to do what he's doing.
This, after all is someone who professes a faith and has young children. This is someone who is human - gets scared, visits the toilet on a regular basis and has rows with his wife. I am finding it hard to believe that even someone so obviously vain as him could support something like this unless the calculations of consequences for him and for us and for greater humanity were 'favourable'. Should I therefore stop wringing my hands and come down on one side or anudder?

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 5:00 PM

Someone help me - help me pleeeeease! - i need to archive - so so badly.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:00 AM

TV programme idea no3: latch of the day

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 12:08 AM

Another Sunday evening draws to a close and I go through my weekly routine of gathering in all the assorted newspapers, credit card promotional leaflets, dodgy local takeaway menus [what, pray, is an 'Indian Pizza' when it's at home?] and cardboard food packaging. This has become something of a compulsion for me, I am driven by some deep rooted conviction that this activity is very important. If I add up all the time I've spent on Sunday evenings - [and midweek too sometimes when it comes to magazine rationalisation mode] - doing this, then it could be considered an unhealthy obsession. You see, I feel it's time I came out as a Recycler. It started when the local council announced that they would collect paper and cardboard from the roadside every Monday morning. Previously I had carelessly landfilled acres of reprocessed woodland - [I live a high paper lifelstyle you see] - now I was being given the chance to alleviate a guilt I never knew I had by collecting the detritus of my printed fixations and leaving it on my doorstep for all to see before it was picked up by recycling Ron and his team of highly trained operatives. Dilemna No1: Do I want my neighbours to know I have a penchant for buying ultra cheapo non-branded super bio washing powder? [45p for 1 ton] or a liking for 'Weekend Guardian'? Would they think I was living on endless Indian Pizzas all paid for with the numerous credit cards I seemed to have in my possession? There now came the need for a separation to take place - 'neighbour sensitive waste' from 'bugger it I don't care if they see this' waste. But what to do with the former? Helpfully a solution arrived in the form of a leaflet that dropped out of one Saturday's Weekend Guardian [I'm beginning to sense a conspiracy] - a personal shredder. Driven by paranoia that Mrs Curtain-Twitcher from number 62 would tell the whole neighbourhood of my recent purchases from Maharaja Pizza and Popadom Palace I have taken to shredding the evidence before leaving it to Ron's tender care. This way I can feel safely deluded that I continue to save my planet whilst retaining some semblance of dignity in the local community.
Wanted: a life.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:38 PM

The 3am puzzle: If a Mathmos faze light is 180mm x 100mm x 60mm and two such lights are purchased by a geezer. How many geezers would it take to build a wall 456 centimetres high assuming the geezers each laid their two Mathmos faze lights one on top of the other face down so that the shortest edge is vertical?

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 3:00 AM

This is kind of shocking and funny. There seems to be a fairly widespread cult of this. George as you've never seen him before.

It's big and juicy:and you can drink tea out of it

TV programme idea no2:Walking with Estate Agents

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:07 PM

TV programme idea no1:Celebrity arse shaving [warning - don't read this just after you've eaten]

"Heaven is My Homeland Jesus is My Security" - get the T shirt - this site is a classic.

Weird beards - scary in a Graham Norton stylee.

It's juicy: and fresh too!

I'm going to save a fortune. Just gotta buy a dog or two.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 7:43 PM

I've decided I need a holiday. Far enough away and long enough away to put some distance between me and routine which is frankly starting to bore the pants off me. So many possibilities - beach v's city v's countryside. All those places in the UK I've always wanted to see but never have v's all those places futher afield... Should it be a push-the-boat out dream hol or a low budget cheap cheerful but fun jaunt? I like culture and 'civilisation' but feel the need to get out somewhere wild and reconnect with my inner thingy - can I have both? Last real break I had was the last week in August 2001 - New York City. Little did I know... Seems sort of selfish thinking about enjoying a holiday when you hear the news every day - confrontation, death and destruction being planned in detail. Maybe that's what I'm really wanting a break from.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:50 PM

Irony of ironies - after my hero worship last night ITV are showing a programme about a certain umentionable individual who I won't dignify by naming. Dignity denied to others on a massive scale during her 'leadership'. Can't even do 'angry of Tunbridge Wells' and demand a licence fee refund :(
Still there's always the departure party to look forward to...

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:37 PM

It's juicy: Mango. I'm having a present mango fixation and buying way too many. They are sexy - absolutely beautiful colours - they glow with some kind of caribbean glowiness. Looking very cool in my designer fruitbowl (which is actually the glass door panel from an old washing machine). Tasting like nothing else - mmm - spicy, orangy, melony - nah mangoey. Best of all they are well juicy.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 1:45 PM

Hmm - probably time I got to grips with how to archive methinks. I've a feeling I'm going to need big help here so if you are passing and you want to offer wisdom - "yes please".

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 1:32 PM

Must see: Tonight it's an appointment with my hero. Ignore the overpaid, overnourished, overrated icon of history and enjoy one of the few men alive worthy of the title, 'Living legend'.

This gladdened my heart. Regardless of any bandwagon / rebelliousness / naiveté - It's a good thing - who cares what teachers think anyway ;)
Makes me think of the time at school I launched a campaign against smoking beagles - not quite the gravity of impending WWW3 but those doggies were glad to kick the habit I'm sure. Something about getting older makes you lose your idealism and fighting spirit I'm finding. [sigh]

Result

Flipping and fazing - the dr's aesthetic power wins out in a closely fought race for the DG dosh. Repelling all comers and defeating even my own favourite the strangely spiritual Mathmos tumblers prevailed. Umbled I am, umbled. [tugs forelock]

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:00 AM

Well it's finally happened. I've been Googled. No-one escapes the power of Google. I only get to be 7th on the list but that's pretty good when you think of what a googol actually is. I've also been crawled by some sinister spider type things. [drD is currently investigating]

Way too much time in front of a screen today - I'm off for a beer.

This I liked.
This I didn't.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 8:08 PM

400 quid for a handset and 50p a minute for video calls. Not my idea of a must have item but the 3rd generation of mobiles arrived on the scene today. 'Three' [snappy name that] chose the trebletastic day of days to unleash their new gizmo. You can watch premier league highlights and show your loved ones the backround eye rolling and obscene gestures when you make that classic, "I'm on the train" call. Of course the first generation phones were similarly expensive. There was a time in the 80's when only Richard Branson and Prince Charles could afford to have one - this was pre Camillagate and the media never did cotton on to Dickygate - hold that image [ok you can stop holding now]. Anyway, I digress.

Less than 24 hours to go before Birthday Boy gets his - vote now before it's too late. Supernatural forces are at work. I'm keeping cool tho ;)

It's big: Mars. Next May Beagle2 takes off for Mars. Hugely unfair but I'm sensing credibility issues ahead - for Beagle2 has 'made in Milton Keynes' on it's bum and a Damian Hirst artwork on board.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 7:00 PM

Listening to Billy Joel's The Stranger - a perfect Sunday morning album - and it's pushing all the right buttons in my 70s nostalgiafest. Memories of a busker on hot n steamy subway station singing 'She's always a woman'...

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 9:35 AM

zzzzzzzzz

Weird weekend: Listless in a 'what's it all about Alfie' way. Still a wee bit traumatised from Friday. Watches George Michael do that Don McClean song on Friday. Remember the original from the American Pie Album I played to death while at school. Get all nostalgic and start reliving dreams I had then. Have midlife crisisette. Read Quarsan's expose of the dirty goings on and get fired up. Decide to retreat to comforting domestic routine and clean kitchen. Strewth.

freshly squeezed for you by drD at 11:54 PM